My Little Problem
by SedentaryVagabond
Summary: Life throws us curve balls, but when happens when that curve ball is a Pegasus? Feedback is greatly appreciated. Also, please check my profile for updates and other stuff.
1. Chapter 1

My Little Problem

What do you do with something that you didn't ask for? Now this isn't something that can get tucked away like a terrible sweater you receive from your grand-mother or just throw in your room never to be thought of again. This was something you dealt with everyday not like some communicable disease that never went away or some kind of tattoo you got and instantly regretted. This was a test of will power of the mind. One that I will never forget.

My name is Donovan Lacson I'm twenty years old, and this is my second year of college. I began my day like most days, get to school after a half hour of commuting in my car go to the Student Lounge set up my laptop and whittle time away before my classes start. I was enjoying the quiet time when the usual people I hang out with came in discussing various things, most of which I paid no attention. I quickly put on my ear buds and turned on my iPod just to drown them out a little, not completely though, after all, I might pick up little tidbits of information about people or things.

"Dude, Saturday's episode was freaking awesome!" all of them quickly switched their attention. "Oh man, I know! Derpy, just became cannon!" I raised my eyebrow a bit, I kind of knew and didn't know what they were talking about. I knew they were talking about My Little Pony again, but I had no idea _who_ they were talking about, nor did I care. It's not that I didn't like the show, it had its merits, but it was something I couldn't get into. "I know and she talked. TALKED. How much more epic does it get?" they all nodded. "Episode about Applejack? That just got taken away in 15 seconds." They all laughed. At this point I took out my ear buds and looked at them while raising my eyebrow. "Hey Don, did you hear?" the group shifted its attention at me. "Hear what Lewis?" I asked playing along a bit. "About Derpy Hooves, she just became canon!" At this point I should've just played along and acted like I knew what I was talking about but stupid me, I had to ask further. "Derpy...Hooves...?" I asked reluctantly. "Oh my gosh, you don't know who Derpy Hooves is? Dude, you need to watch more Ponies..." Lewis made his way over to where I was sitting while opening his laptop I was about to interject but once you got Lewis going, there was no stopping him otherwise.

"Careful Derpy, I wouldn't want to do any more damage than you've already done." the scene changed to show a building crumble and a grey Pegasus obliviously bouncing on top of a rain cloud making it shoot out lightning. "I just don't know what went wrong!" it shouted before electrocuting itself with lightning. "Yeah, it's a mystery." I was about to say something when the scene continued, "Nice work Rainbow Dash!" Derpy said as she flew backwards into a post making it fall over.

"This thing is Murphy's Law Incarnate!" I said. Lewis only chuckled "Keep watching."

The post slammed into the floorboards making a huge gaping hole. Derpy landed and peered in. "You okay Rainbow Dash? Anything I can do to help?" She asked. "No! Nothing! In the name of Celestia just sit there and do NOTHING." Derpy obeyed and sat down making the floor crack beneath her only to have it collapse and dragging down Rainbow Dash with her. "Oops, my bad."

"That was umm, interesting." I said trying to rebound from what I just saw. "And now you know. So when are you gonna start watching Ponies?" Lewis asked. "What? Start watching?" Lewis closed his laptop. "We'll start with season one and then move onto season two!" Don sighed, "I told you, I'm sure it's a great show, but it's just not for me. I told you, I don't HATE it, but I just can't get into it." Lewis rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, you'll come to like them." he said as he got up.

The day went on through like it normally did. Don went from class to class and did his best to stay awake in them while trying to take notes although more often than not he found dosing off for a better portion of the class. At three he headed towards his car and started his mundane journey back home. He enjoyed the drives but they were rather quiet and uneventful, and he wasn't about to start making phone calls, especially since everyone else was either too busy or are just unresponsive at this time. After about thirty minutes he reached his destination, home sweet home.

Don stepped into his house and breathed a sigh of relief no more scholastics and stupidity for the rest of the day, just some TV, some internet surfing and probably some gaming to end the evening. Don set his things down and went towards his room and flicked on the light. There was a brief flash and the sound of small pop, "Great, the light bulb died. Time to change it again." He went into one of the kitchen cabinets and fished out a new bulb and returned to his room. He reached for the dead one and huffed in a bit of frustration. The bulb was just out of his reach and sat there seemingly mocking him. "Man, I don't want to get a stool." He said to himself. He looked around the room. "Oh hey, there we go, I'll just use my computer chair." He wheeled it over towards the center of the room. "I know I shouldn't really be using this, but screw it, I'm tired after today." He got up and began unscrewing the old bulb and quickly replaced it with the new one. "There, now to get down." He stepped down only to have the chair move from under him. "OH WHAT THE HE-" there was an audible crash and a loud thud as Don fell flat on his back and hit his head on the floor. Don was completely discombobulated from what had just happened as well as in pain. He laid there momentarily and opened his eyes. _"At least the light works now_" he thought to himself _"Also I know I'm not dead, that would be embarrassing 'College student dies changing light bulb' weather after this commercial break."_ His thoughts were interrupted by a small voice he was introduced to not too long ago calling out to him;

"Hey Mister, are you okay? Do you need any help?"


	2. Figurines and Spirit Guides

Figurines and Spirit Guides

"Mister? Are you Okay?" Don looked around the room. "What the, who's saying that?" He asked aloud still looking around. "I am!" He felt something land on his chest. He raised his head and looked, there stood before him a small grey horse no more than three inches tall with a golden mane. "I never had any horse figurines in my room, where the hell did I get this?" He asked while reaching for the small horse. "I'm not a toy, I'm Derpy!"

Don froze, everything was functioning in his head up until this very moment. If we could look at Don's head from a machine's point of view, the contraption that would be the Cerebellum just exploded. "You...You just talked." Derpy, cocked her head to one side, "Of course I can, I can also sing songs, and dance but I don't do that very often because I might crash and break things." He got up and paced about his room. "Yep, I've died, it's all over, dead at twenty, game over man, I could've done so many things, seen so many sights..." He continued to ramble on endlessly. "I could've gone to see The Great wall of Berlin, or the Leaning Tower of China..."

Derpy took flight and looked on somewhat concerned for the poor...whatever it was but it was obviously not having a good day, she tried to speak up every now and then to try and calm him down but to no avail. After about a minute or so she decided she need to take matters into her own hooves. She flew up into his face trying to get his attention. "Hey!" she said waving her hooves. No response. "Hellooo?" Still no response nor giving her any sort of acknowledgement that she was there. Deciding she had had enough she turned around and with all of her strength bucked him in the face. Her efforts were rewarded with an "ow" and silence after that.

Don felt pain on his cheek and was brought back to reality. He turned to Derpy, "Thanks, I needed that." He thought everything was okay until he noticed something else. The small horse, was flying in front of his face with a pair of wings. "And now you're flying. Well, this proves it, I've died and gone insane." But before he could go into another mental breakdown he remembered something, "Wait, if I'm dead that means I can see my body on the floor, people can see their body when they're a spirit right?" he asked. He looked around the room, "I don't see my body, maybe I can take it with me then to the afterlife?" He looked at Derpy, "Does that mean I'm a spirit now? Are you my Spirit Guide to the afterlife or are you an agent of Charon here to take me to the River Styx? I hope Charon takes debit..."

The Pegasus shrugged, "I don't Know, but a River of Sticks sure does sound silly, I mean, how are fish supposed to swim in it if its full of twigs and stuff? Not unless the fish are made of wood," she began to rub her chin with one of her hooves. Don sighed at sat down at his desk, "I still haven't confirmed if I'm dead or not. I'm just going to assume I'm still alive, just having a massive hallucination from when I hit my head on the floor." Derpy flew over to where he was sitting and landed on the desk still giving him a quizzical look. Don ran his hand over his face and sighed again before noticing the small Pegasus. "Oh Hey, you're still here which means I'm still nuts."

The two stared at each other for an awkward ten seconds before Don spoke up. "What? What are you staring at?" Derpy squinted a bit, "I'm trying to figure out just what kind of pony you are. I've seen plenty, and you don't look like any I've ever seen." Don raised an eyebrow, "Pony? I'm not a pony, I'm a person, well, a human being to be exact." Derpy cocked her head again to the side again, "Hmmm, 'hooman'... never heard of a hooman before."

Don let out a huff of laughter. "Right, and you're a Pegasus, a very small one at that." He extended his hand out to Derpy and was met with only a confused look. "I mean look, you can fit in my hand." Don lowered his outstretched hand. Derpy climbed onto the palm of his hand. She only spanned just past the base of his fingers. "Funny, you're not real yet I can feel the pressure of your weight on my hand and when you kicked me in the face earlier. Man, I really must've hit my head."

Don shifted his attention back to the Pegasus. "So do you have a name or something, or do I have to name you?" Derpy straightened up, "Like I said, my name is Derpy! Derpy Hooves, and I'm the best mail-mare in Equestria!" The gears in Don's head started turning again before he came upon a realization. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Derpy Hooves? As in, the Pegasus that nearly destroyed a town hall?"

Derpy looked down. "It wasn't my fault, I was just trying to help." she said while giving a small sniffle. Don internally panicked and scolded himself. _"Oh no, now you've gone and made her upset, way to go douche-bag."_ Don rallied his thoughts together, "Okay, okay, no need to get upset, I'm sure you're a great mail...mare... and a good helper, I'm sure you could even help me." Derpy looked up, "Really? I could help you?" she said with hopeful eyes.

"Sure why not, you're tiny, how much harm could you do?"


	3. Produce and Ice Cubes

Produce and Ice Cubes

"So when can I start helping you?" Derpy asked while jumping in Don's hand. "I don't know, soon. I'll tell you when you can." He said while placing the Pegasus back on the desk. "Ok, Mister...uh..." Derpy struggled. "Oh, I forgot, I know your name but you don't know mine, I'm Donovan, Donovan Lacson, the most mediocre student here on Earth."

"Don...O...Ven..." Derpy slowly said trying to pronounce his name right. she repeated it a couple of times with different phonetic pronunciations before Don intervened. "Okay, don't hurt yourself trying to say my name. Just, call me Don." Derpy looked up, "Okay, Mister Don!" she said. Don smiled, "Just Don please, there's no need to be formal. I don't call you Miss Derpy do I?" Derpy let out a sheepish smile, "Okay Mist- uh, I mean, Don."

"So now that that's out of the way the next question is, what do you eat?" Don asked while getting up. "I know you're something like a horse so I'm guessing hay is a big part of your diet, but since I don't exactly have access to that, well, not unless I go out into the country and raid a farm." he said while going into a pondering pose. He quickly shook his head and came back to the conversation at hand. "Please tell me you eat something other than hay?"

"Of course I do!" she said, "I eat fruits, vegetables, cupcakes, cake, but my most favorite thing to eat," she said while staring off into space, "are muffins..." she finished losing herself into a daydream. Don was relieved and perplexed at the same time, at least he didn't have to raid a farm, but how was he supposed to get her out of this little daydream coma. He brought himself to her eye level. "Uh, hello?" he said while poking Derpy.

Derpy snapped back to into reality. "Huh? What happened?" she asked looking around. Don shook his head, "I don't know, you just said 'Muffins' then you went-" he was cut short. "Muffins..." Derpy said dreamily and went right back into her daydream. " SON OF A..."

Derpy suddenly realized she was no longer in Don's room. She looked around and noticed a huge room and directly to her left and noticed a stove. "Wow, you've got a really big kitchen Don." She began to walk across the counter still looking around in awe. "This is really- WHOA!" she screamed as she fell into the sink. Don turned around, "Derpy, what are you doing?"

The Pegasus flew up, "Heh, I...might have fallen into the sink." she said while giving a sheepish smile and rubbing the back of her head. "Please be careful, next thing you know you'll be crashing into-" there was a loud clatter of pans falling to the floor. "...Dishes..." Don finished while face-palming.

He sighed and went to go pick up the assorted pots and pans that feel. "Oops," Derpy said, "Let me help!" she flew over and began to grab one of the pans with her hooves. "I don't think that's necess-OW WHAT THE HELL?" Don yelled as a pan fell onto his head. Derpy put on a guilty grin "Oops, sorry, the pan was heavier than I thought." Another thought hit her and she had a huge smile, "Does this mean I get to help you now?"

Before Don knew what was going on, Derpy tore into the freezer and pulled out a single ice cube, flew back to Don and shoved it in his face. "THATS COLD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Don yelled falling over. "Hold still! This is supposed to make the swelling go down!" Derpy insisted. "I got hit in the back of my head! Not my face!" Don nearly yelled. "I said to hold still didn't I?"

The two sat in silence at the kitchen table as they both snacked on fruit, the silent ambiance was broken when Derpy decided to speak up. "Wow, these are the biggest grapes I've ever seen!" Derpy said grabbing a single grape with both of her hooves. Don sighed, "If someone would've told me I'd be having fruit snack time with a Pegasus last week, I would've thought they were on drugs or something."

He looked at Derpy who had a content smile on her face as she bit into the grape, "I still don't even know if you're real or not, even though you just shoved an ice cube in my face..." he stopped for a moment. "Wait, how DID you know where the ice cubes were?" He asked looking at Derpy.

Derpy looked up at Don with grape juice smeared all over her face. "Huh, How did I know?" she set the grape down and scratched her head. "I don't know, I just guessed." She returned to eating the grape. "Your explanations are wonderful." Don said while face-palming, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "How's the fruit?" Derpy set the grape down again, "It's good, but it's not as good next to the fruit where I'm from." Don raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? Why's that?" Derpy pondered for a minute, "I don't know, I guess it just doesn't taste as sweet."

"Well, I don't think it gets any better than that I'm afraid, so you're gonna have to make do with that. At least until I can get some baby carrots or something." He grabbed a paper towel. "Here, wipe your face, for a Pegasus, you sure eat messy." He said tearing off a piece and handing it to her. "And you gotta get me a muffin!" Derpy said slightly muffled under the paper towel.

Don sighed, "Yeah I'll get you a muffin. Little extortionist." he mumbled. "Yay Muffin!" Derpy yelled. She began flying in circles chanting "I'm getting a muffin" in a sing-song voice. "Okay, Okay, don't get too excited. Although I don't need to go to the store anytime soon." Derpy stopped. "Oh..." she said looking down.

"Oh Don't worry, it's not like it's gonna take forever for me to go somewhere. I'm pretty sure we're bound to need something soon." He said quickly. Before Derpy could reply the door opened. "Hey Don, I'm home early from work!" Don quickly stood up and panicked.

"Mom, What are you doing home so early?"


	4. Nosey Moms and Cover Ups

Nosey Moms and Cover Ups

"I just told you I got home from work early." Don's mom said walking in through the door. Don got up quickly and stood in front of where Derpy was sitting on the table. The Pegasus looked up at Don confused as to what was going on at the moment. "Don what's going on?" Derpy asked.

The only thing Derpy saw was Don motioning something with his hands. Not sure what he was trying to tell him, she decided to fly up to his shoulder and look. She peeked over his shoulder and only saw another human at the door. "Who's that Don?" she asked.

Don panicked at Derpy's voice being so close to his ear. "Uh..." Don stammered. He quickly turned around and faced Derpy. "Stay hidden and keep quiet." he whispered. "Okay Don!" she said somewhat loudly while giving a small salute. "What was that Don?" His mother asked stepping further into the house. Don turned around again. "N-NOTHING, Nothing! I was just uh, having a snack..and ... I wasn't expecting you home is all." He stammered giving an uneasy laugh.

His mother raised an eyebrow at him. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to hide something from me." Don felt a bead of sweat develop on his head. "Me? No. Of course not, why would I?" His mother went towards the kitchen "Well, if you say so." Don mirrored her movements to cover Derpy. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat mom, but I got homework to do and what not, you know all that college and stuff." He said as he grabbed Derpy with one hand.

Derpy gave out a small yelp which Don immediately tried to cover with a fit of self-induced coughing. He nervously laughed and excused himself to his room and shut the door. He sighed in relief and released Derpy from his grasp. "Sorry about that, I'm not sure how other people would react to a Pegasus let alone a small one." He said looking at Derpy.

"Who was that Don?" Derpy asked again. Don sat down at his desk. "That was my mom, no offense or anything, but I don't think she'd react to well to a Pegasus flying about my head. Especially one that can talk like you." Derpy landed on his desk. "Why not? I think you took it rather well." Don raised an eyebrow. "Rather well? I went babbling for three minutes and then you kicked me in the face to bring me back to reality. Or at least what I think is reality."

Don's mom came into the room. "Don you left your fruit-...what are you doing?" she walked in to find Don with his elbow on his desk while facing the doorway to his room giving a stupid smile. "Just...sitting here...doing nothing..." he said while giving a nervous laugh. His mom raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you looking at adult-"

"WHAT? NO! WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME SOMETHING LIKE THAT? THE COMPUTER ISN'T EVEN ON!" Don shouted. His mom laughed. "I'm only kidding, I came to bring you your fruit, which you didn't leave much of, are you feeling ok?" she asked. "Yeah, totally fine. Why?" His mom picked up the grape Derpy had been eating earlier. "It looks like this was only nibbled on, since when do you nibble grapes?" Don began to feel the sweat bead on the back of his head. "It's because...uh, I already ate a whole bunch earlier when I got home."

Don's mother stood there. "So you're finished eating then?" Don nodded. "Yeah, I'm done." He suddenly felt poking on his arm and remembered Derpy. "Uh, I mean No! I'm not done." Don extended his arm to reach for the plate. "Can't let food go to waste you know." Don's mom reluctantly handed it over. "Are you sure you're ok?" Don sighed. "Yes, I'm fine." He said as he grabbed the plate. Don's mom only gave him a skeptical looks before leaving the room.

Don set the plate down, "Thank God..." Don said while sighing and putting his face in his hands. Derpy walked over to him and sat down looking at him quizzically. She reached behind her and quickly pulled out a tiny muffin. "Muffin?" she asked looking up to the mentally haggard human. Don opened his fingers "What? Muffin?" He looked down and saw the tiny pastry somehow grasped by her hoof. "What? Where did you get that? And How are you gripping it for that matter?"

Derpy only shrugged and re-extended her fore-leg insisting that he take the muffin. Don sighed again, and grasped the pastry with this thumb and index finger. It was about the size of an "A" button you would find on an Xbox controller. "Thanks, I guess." He popped the muffin in his mouth. "Oh my gosh, it's like someone took the very essence that is sugar and sweet and concentrated it into this tiny thing."

Derpy started jumping up and down. "I know! Isn't it great? My friend Pinky Pie makes the best muffins!" Don tried to remember where he heard that name, _"Perhaps Lewis knows, I'm sure he'll know more about Derpy too... I'll ask him tomorrow." _he thought. His gaze returned to Derpy who had returned to eating the grape. _"In the meantime, Fruit Snack Time continues." _

A sudden problem dawned upon him. Who would watch Derpy while he went to school? He couldn't take her with him beings that everyone would see her. He didn't need a mob of curious people or fans like Lewis to never endingly pester him about Derpy. He thought about this for a while trying to come up with a solution. Maybe he could wear a shirt with a pocket and she could ride around in it? No, because then people will think she's a plush and want to hold her.

Hid her under a hat? No, that'd be kind of hot for her. The last thing he needed was a dehydrated Pegasus. Don ran through every possible solution with no results. He exhaled through his nose and finally decided on one thing.

Derpy would have to stay home alone tomorrow.


	5. Demolition and Boredom

Demolition and Boredom

Don woke up the next morning, _"Whoever invented 6 AM needs to rethink EVERYTHING." _He was about to roll over when he remembered something. _"Man, what a weird dream, a talking Pegasus, fruit snack time...muffins...I really need to-" _his thoughts were interrupted when he heard something groan and shift in his bed.

Don carefully turned over and saw Derpy sleeping soundly under the corner of his blanket laying on her stomach. Don laid back down again. _"Nope, wasn't a dream, still crazy..." _he thought as he remembered the evening before-

"So, where am I supposed to sleep?" Derpy asked. "What? I thought horses slept standing up." Don replied. "No, we sleep in beds! Standing up is just silly! Whoever heard of such a thing...standing up..." she said laughing to herself. Don sighed in frustration, "The one time I needed this Pegasus to do something a horse normally does..." he mumbled to himself.

"Well, I guess you can sleep here," Don said while pointing to a corner of the bed. "You're small, I'm sure you'll fit, I mean, I do have a full sized bed." Derpy looked for a moment with an unsure look and looked back at Don. "And if you're worried that I'll squish you, relax, I'll put my phone near you so I know not to shift to much." This seemed to ease the Pegasus a bit.

"So then it'll be like a sleep over?" Derpy asked. Don raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah sure, a sleep over." Derpy landed on her corner of the bed and began to jump up and down. "Yay! Sleep over!"

- Don ran a hand over his face and slowly got up careful not to disturb Derpy and began to get ready for the day. He quickly threw on some cargo pants and a shirt, he carefully grabbed his phone and hit a button on it. _"6:15...better than I usually do..." _ he thought to himself. He turned around to leave his room when he tripped over his back pack. "SON OF A-" he stopped.

"Don, where are you going?" a sleepy voice called from his bed. Don looked and saw Derpy sitting up looking at him. "I have to go to school." He said while checking the contents of his bag. "Can I go with you?" she asked. "No, I can't afford anybody seeing you. Just like with my mom, I doubt people are ready to see a Pegasus just yet."

"Can't I go? Please?" she asked again. "No." he said zipping up his bag. "Pleeeasse?" she begged. "No." he said firmly. "Pleeeeeeeaaaaaassseee?" Don sighed. "NO!" Don began to hear little sobs. "B-b-but you said...I could...help..." Don set his bag down again. _"Sweet Jesus have mercy on my soul..." _He got down to Derpy's level. "Listen, as soon as I think of a way to hide you better, you can't go with me anywhere, I'll try and think of a few things during my classes today Okay? But until then, you need to stay here till I figure something out."

Derpy only nodded. "So you should go back to sleep and I'll be back this afternoon. I hope you can manage yourself till then." Don said putting on his shoes. "But how can I help you if you're not here?" Derpy asked. "You're a smart Pegasus, I'm sure you'll think of something." He was about to leave when Derpy called out again. "When are you supposed to be back?"

Don thought for a moment. "Well, I should be back at around either 2:30 or 3 this afternoon. If you need to see the time, it's over there on my desk." Don said while pointing. Derpy looked over towards the clock. The red numbers on it read "6:25" "Anyways, go back to sleep Derpy, and I'll try and get home as quickly as I can." Derpy got back under the blanket. "Bye, Don." she said while yawning.

Don's drive to school was boring to say the least. He instantly wished there was someone to talk to. His mind drifted back to Derpy, "Man, maybe I should've let her come with me, at least it would've made the trip a little more bearable. I mean, yeah I like peace and quiet but, I've been doing this for a year now and...let's face it, the trips are kinda lonely." He thought for a moment. "Great, now I'm talking to myself aloud. This has to be me going crazy, well then again, its normal to talk to yourself. It's when you reply to yourself is when you're crazy right? Right."

Don sat down at a table in the Student Lounge and sighed. _"Another day, and more class time. Gosh I can't wait for summer, then I won't have to put up with this tripe."_ His thought was interrupted by someone entering. He looked up and saw Lewis, their gaze caught and Lewis bee-lined for Don. "Hey Don, you ready to start watching Ponies yet?"

Don mentally face palmed. _"I knew I should've gone to the library..." _he thought. "What do you mean ready to start watching? I thought that-" Lewis interrupted him. "No man, We're gonna start watching right now. We'll start on the first episode and-" Don stopped him. "Whoa, hold on now, Although I do have something to ask you."

"Yeah, what is it?" Lewis inquired. "What can you tell me about Derpy?" Lewis raised an eyebrow. "Derpy Hooves? Why are you asking me about Derpy-" He suddenly had a huge grin on his face. "You're making Derpy your favorite pony aren't you Don?" Don suddenly panicked. "What? No! It's just that I ...I mean... you see... there's...You know what? Yeah, that's it, you got me." Don said defeated.

"Relax man, everybody has a favorite Pony, and I'll be happy to answer any questions you have, but first, we watch ponies." Lewis said while opening his laptop. Don inwardly swore. He was going to be here for a while.

Derpy woke up and stretched, she threw the small corner of blanket off her and looked around Don's room. It was small and simple, there was a large black rectangle with wires coming out of it on one side across from where Don's head would be in his bed, and in the far corner there was an even smaller black rectangle with a glowing red light on it on his desk. She noticed there were a lot more odds and ends on it as well.

She suddenly remembered what Don said earlier that he'd be home by three. She looked at the clock on his desk, it read 9:30. "Rats," she sighed. "I really hope Don comes home soon." She began to pace back and forth on his bed. "Hmm," she mused. "How can I help Don if he's not here?" She pondered. She rubbed her chin with her hoof and looked at his desk when she got an idea.

"I know! I'll organize the things on his desk! That oughta help him!" she said. She was about to start this task when she heard a rumbling in her stomach. "But first, I guess I'll eat. Can't start the day on an empty stomach!" She started to fly off towards Don's kitchen. "I hope Don still has grapes..."

Don sat in one of the desks in the classroom and rubbed his eyes. _"That was way more 'My Little Pony' in one sitting than I had anticipated" _He opened his backpack. _"My eyes are still reeling from the amount of pastels in that show too, not to mention all the eccentricities of the characters themselves." _

_"I have to say though, it was rather well written, although I can't bring myself to listen to the theme song. There's just something about it that makes me cringe." _He opened his notebook and clicked his pen. _"I still can't get into the show though, yeah it has its merits, but I don't know, it just doesn't click with me yet or if it will at all..." _

"Good Morning, Class!" the professor walked in. There was a monotonous "Good Morning" from the other students and Don's attention averted upward. "Today we'll be discussing the Spanish Conquest of Mexico and the beginnings of Spanish Colonies..." Don sighed. _"And here we go, a note taking writeapalooza. Goodbye, writing hand." _

Derpy sat on her hind-quarters and rubbed her slightly protruding stomach. "That was such a great meal...I've never seen grapes this big before, and I'm surprised I ate three of them!" She stood up and took flight. "Alright! Now to organize Don's desk and help him!"

She flew into his room and landed on his desk. "Wow, Don sure has a lot of stuff." she said to herself while looking around. There were all sorts of papers and small boxes on his desk along with lots of pens, coins, old receipts, scissors, and lots of cards with peculiar drawings on them.

"First things, first! We organize!" She began to push all the cards together into one pile not noticing the ones on the edge starting to fall to the floor. Derpy then moved on to papers, stacking them on his bed by picking up each individual one with her hooves and laying them out.

Next she went to the small boxes. She looked at them curiously and cocked her head to the side trying to read the label. "D...Dur...A...kell...Durakell... What's a Durakell?" she looked at the package and only noticed small black cylindrical sticks with golden tops on them. "I wonder what these are for?" she asked. With some effort she lifted the packages and stacked them. "They sure are heavier than I thought..." she huffed. "Don is gonna be so surprised when he finds his desk organized!"

It was an hour later and Don sat in his English course now. _"Hooray, Rhetoric and Comp Class..." _Don thought uncharasmatically. _"A class designed on how to teach you how to research... at least it wasn't like that class I took my freshman year that taught you how to survive college. Man that class was a joke." _

Don's mind drifted a bit, _"I wonder how Derpy's doing? I hope she's not too bored at home. But she's a small horse...well, I mean, Pegasus, so she can't be doing much damage." _His thinking was interrupted again. "Hello, Class!" The professor walked in. "Are there any questions from last time?" Don gave out a small puff from his nose.

_"Questions from last time? I Barely remembered what I did two days ago! How does he expect me to remember stuff from last class period?" _Don clicked his pen, _"Well, here we go again, more writing and hopefully no group exercises." _Don's attention went back to the professor "And today there will be a group exercise that involve these worksheets."

_"DAMMIT!" _

Derpy had just finished "organizing" Don's desk. She looked over her work and smiled. "Neat and finished!" she said. Her "work" was just shoving everything into piles with no real theme to each pile. She stood there proudly when she noticed his dresser.

"Wow, Don has a lot of stuff on there too. I better clean that up as well." She flew upwards and assessed her new project. There was virtually no room to move things so she would have to place them on Don's bed. She flew over and grabbed a piece of paper on his dresser and pulled, it didn't budge. Derpy tried again with the same result and paused a minute to think. "Stubborn paper, come out!" She grabbed it again, and pulled with all her might. The paper eventually moved and she flew backwards with the paper in tow.

"Whoa!" she yelled and stopped herself only to watch a couple of books fall to the floor. "Oops, my bad." She was about to start picking them up when her stomach rumbled again. She looked at the clock, it read "12:30". "Well, time for lunch, I'll come back to this after more food. I wonder what else Don has to eat." She said as she flew off to the kitchen again.

Don sat down in the Student Lounge and began eating a sandwich. _"Ugh, finally lunchtime. The one few times where I can unwind in the middle of my schedule." _He took a couple of more bites before taking a swig from an iced tea he purchased from a vending machine. _"Stupid classes, college isn't has hard as high school made it out to be." _He opened a bag of chips.

_"High school doesn't tell you can bargain with your professors for better grades, or the fact that if you show effort they might cut you some slack and give you a better grade for it." _He took another bite. _"Now it just seems that those scary college stories are there to scare students into submission-" _He heard footsteps approach him. "Hey Don, ready for more Ponies?"

_"WHY DO I KEEP COMING BACK HERE?" _

Derpy lazily flew through air swaying a bit. "Those were the biggest strawberries ever..." She entered Don's room again and got back to work. She pulled a couple of more papers but only ended up knocking over a pencil holder making the assorted pens and pencils scatter across the floor. "Oops!" She started moving a book which in turn caused a domino effect on a couple of other books making them crash to the floor as well.

She tried moving other items on his dresser which only ended up making a fan, a stereo and more books to fall the ground. "Well," she said looking around at her mess. "at least I got these drawers cleared off."

Don tapped his foot impatiently as he sat in his final class for the day. He looked at the over head clock; it read "2:15" He sighed and put his head on his hand. _"Political Science, pff, when did studying Politics become a science, who comes up with this stuff?" _ He scribbled aimlessly in his notes.

_"Derpy must be waiting for me to get home by now.. My guess is that she'll wanna have fruit snack time again and ask me all sorts of question." _His thoughts were interrupted by the professor. "Are there anymore questions before I let you all go?" Don scanned the room. _"Don't any of you ask a freaking question or so help me I will throw my text book at you and sacrifice your first born child to Cthulhu" _The class remained silent. "Well, then, you all may go. Have a good day!" the professor said.

Don packed his things and headed straight for his car. _"FREEDOM! SWEET LADY FREEDOM I MISSED YOU!" _He meandered through buildings and passed through administrative parking lots before he reached his car. He unlocked it, opened the door and roughly threw his back pack in before shutting the door and getting into the driver's seat. "Alright," he said aloud. "Time to go home."

The drive was uneventful again and the only thing to drown out his own thoughts was music coming from his MP3 player through his cars speakers. Currently his music player started playing "Highway to Hell" by AC DC. "Very funny, stupid player." Don checked the time again. "2:50, alright, almost home, just ten more minutes." he said to himself.

His MP3 player switched songs and began playing a familiar tune. He looked at his player with a raised eyebrow. "Really? You're playing that?" He recognized the song. It was "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival. He looked at his player again. "what are you playing that for? You make it sound like there's something going to hell in a hand basket." He clicked the "next" button. "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin started playing.

"Okay, that's enough of that." Don said as he pushed the pause button. The journey continued on for another ten minutes before he finally pulled into his driveway. "Finally. Home sweet home. Time to see how Derpy did staying by herself." He got out and got his backpack and walked towards the front door. He unlocked it and stepped inside and was greeted by his living room normal.

"Well, nothing here out of place, although there seems to a chill along the floor." He walked to the kitchen. "WHAT THE-" He looked at the open refrigerator working to keep the entire kitchen and the adjacent living room a constant temperature. He also found scatter grapes and an overturned container of strawberries. "Derpy..." he sighed. Don closed the refrigerator and went to his room. He stepped into the doorway and stopped. "

"WHAT HAPPENED HERE?" he shouted looking at all the assorted piles of his stuff. As if on cue Derpy emerged from a pile. "Surprise!" she shouted. "I organized your room for you!" Don's backpack hit the floor with a thud. "You...what?" Don asked. "I cleaned up your desk and your dresser drawers!" she said still half buried in a small pile of things.

"My room..." Don said slowly starting to lose it again. "I know isn't it neat!" Derpy said flying and landing on Don's head. "My stuff..." he said. "All organized!" Derpy said standing up on two legs and crossing her forelegs. "Derpy," Don began. "Yes Don?" Don ran a hand over his face. "This isn't how we organize things." He said rather calmly. "It's not?" She asked. "No, not even close." He said stepping into his room. Derpy landed on his bed post, "But doesn't it look neat?"

Don shook his head. "NEAT?" he snapped. "THIS ISN'T NEAT! THIS ISN'T HOW I CLEAN MY ROOM AT ALL! DO YOU KNO WHOW LONG THIS WILL TAKE TO CLEAN UP?" Derpy stepped back a bit. The tone she was hearing wasn't approval at all. "AND ALL MY STUFF IS OVER HERE AND HERE AND HERE!" Don kept ranting.

Unsure of what to do, Derpy hid to get away from the raging human. He continued on for another minute before he stopped. Don looked around, "Where'd she go?" He looked around and noticed a blonde tail sticking out from a portion of his blanket. He saw Derpy's form under the blanket shaking with fear. "Oh no, what have I done..." he whispered to himself. "Listen, Derpy-" he was cut off. "NO! GO AWAY YOU'RE SCARY RIGHT NOW!" Don stopped his advancement. Her words had some sting to it and she was right. Here was this huge human yelling and screaming while she being a three inch tall Pegasus being exposed to pure anger with no knowledge of what he might do.

"Derpy, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I know why you did it though." Don said. "It's because You're trying to help me isn't it?" No response. Don sighed and sat down at the edge of his bed. "I know, I told you that you could help me, but I didn't think you would do...this." he continued on, "But this isn't exactly organized, or clean for that matter."

"It's not...?" Derpy asked from under the covers. "No, I'm afraid it's not, and now I'm gonna have to clean up to." Don said looking at the small bump in the blanket. "I'm sorry..." Derpy said. "I know you are, but man this is a huge mess." Don said getting up. "I think I could use some help to clean it up." Derpy's ears perked up. "I mean, I can't clean this up all on my own." Don said looking around. Derpy poked her head out of the blanket. "Man this'll take forever..." Don said sitting on the floor.

He felt two pairs of feet land on his head. "Can I help?" Don smiled and looked up. "Sure, but I think there's some things in the kitchen we need to take care of first...like all the spilled grapes and strawberries you left on the floor." Derpy put her forelegs behind her back and gave a sheepish smile. "Oops..I may have spilled some of them..and toppled over some milk, and orange juice, and-" Don held up a hand.

"Stop. Let's just get through cleaning up please." He said while sighing.


	6. Stowaways and Escapees

Stowaways and Escapees

Several days had gone by since Derpy's "renovation" fiasco and by the end of Thursday, both Don and Derpy had just about had it being bored; Don, being bored at school and Derpy, being bored at home. He did leave some of his text books behind, although he wasn't sure She would read them, but it might have given her something to do. In turn, she would leaf through them and just look at the pictures in the books. Depictions of battles, diagrams, and portraits of other humans who wore fancy hats and clothes.

Since most of Don's books varied in size, the difficulty of page turning also varied. On smaller books she didn't have much trouble, just flicking the pages with little effort. On larger books however, she would lift a single page and push with her fore-hooves and walk across until finally the page's weight would take over and fall. However, there were only so many pictures books can hold, and only so many books Don had to offer.

"I told you, until I can figure out a way to hide you, you're not going with me anywhere!" Don said with frustration. "But it's so boring here, and I already looked at all the pictures in your books!" Derpy replied. "Haven't you tried reading them? They're chock full of information and stories." Don said. "But the letters are too big and sometimes it's really hard to turn pages." Don sighed, _"Sweet Jesus, Give me patience..." _

"I told you the answer is no. And I'm sticking to that until I have an idea, plus, after tomorrow, I'll be home for two days since it's the weekend, we'll think of something then, okay?" Derpy only folded her hooves together and turned away from Don. "Fine." she said giving out a small huff. "Good, now can we please go to sleep? I still have to wake up early whether I like it or not."

Derpy laid there thinking about her boredom. All she wanted to do was help Don in whatever way she could, but he wasn't letting her. Was there something he was trying to hide from her? He said that people just wouldn't understand having a Pegasus flying about his head. But would it really be that bad? She thought for a moment more before finally deciding she would go to school with him. But how would she go without him not noticing? This was something she would need to figure out in the morning.

Morning came all to quickly for Don again, he woke up feeling tired. "Please still be really early..." he pleaded with whatever Deity was listening. He turned and looked at his clock; it read 5:59. "All of my hate..." he whispered to the clock. He laid there a couple of seconds more before finally summoning up the energy to get up. He was careful not to disturb or fall on Derpy as he went to go get ready for school.

Derpy however, was already awake and was deciding on where to hide. She thought about hiding in one of his side pockets on his pants, but the thought of him reaching in there and finding out where she was put that idea down. She may have been clumsy, but she wasn't stupid. She kept pondering on where to hide when her eyes finally rested on his backpack.

His bag reminded her of the saddle-bags back home except much larger and what appeared to be much roomier too. She figured she could hide away in there while still being relatively comfortable. She was about to make her move when Don came back into the room. He grabbed his wallet and keys and his phone, he then moved over to his backpack and opened it up. He went over to his bookshelf and grabbed a book and stuffed it in.

Don stood up and pondered a minute trying to figure out what he was missing. He snapped his fingers and left the room again. Derpy took this opportunity to make her move. She carefully slid from under the blanket keeping the little bulge she had made intact, and quickly flew towards his backpack. she looked at the numerous pockets on it wondering which one to hide in. She suddenly his footsteps get closer and quickly flew into the main storage pocket.

Don returned and slid his notebook into his backpack, zipped it up, heaved it over his shoulder and began to walk out. He stopped at the doorway and looked back at the bed. "Bye Derpy, I'll be home as soon as possible." He stopped and looked down. "Sorry I couldn't take you with me." he said quietly.

Don opened the door to his parents room slightly. "Taking off Mom, be back later this afternoon." he heard a shuffle "Okay, see you after I get home from work." his mom replied. Don closed the door and headed for the front door. After fiddling with the key in the lock he walked over to his car. After disabling the alarm he opened the back door and placed his bag on the seat. He then got into the driver's seat and secured himself with the seatbelt.

Don sighed sitting there for a couple of seconds. _"Another day, another boring time at school..." _ He shifted into reverse and pulled out of the driveway and started the lonely journey to school. He switched on his MP3 player, "Alright music, take it away." He said to himself.

Derpy felt the rumble of the engine coming to life and figured that Don was ready to start his journey to school. She heard something click and something drop into place. She stood atop one of his books and looked through a small hole where Don did not thoroughly close the zipper. She saw what appeared to be the interior of a carriage except a lot sleeker and sturdy looking. She was about to look more when Don's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Alright music, take it away."

It was silent for a couple of seconds before the sounds of a large orchestra started playing. Derpy was amazed, how could a whole orchestra fit in here? Her question was interrupted when Don began to pull out of his drive way. The sudden movement caused Derpy to fall over she was about to get up again when the car stopped, she heard another click and started to move forward which only caused to her roll back. For being a rather smooth ride, it was also rough at the same time as she was tossed about inside the backpack.

There were more twists and turns in the journey which only made Derpy's experience more unpleasant but eventually the rolling paid off as Don had now entered the highway which made the journey a lot more smooth on Derpy. In fact, so smooth that the sound of the road along with orchestrated music Don was playing through the car's speakers that she began to feel drowsy. She let out a yawn and slowly curled into a small ball and began to sleep.

Derpy began to feel the books shift again which caused her to wake up with a start. Wherever Don was now, just made the journey uncomfortable again. Eventually there was one last sharp turn and then the car stopped. Don must have arrived by now, she then heard the engine go off and Don's door open. It was time to see what kind of world Don had beyond his house walls.

Don grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder again, _"I wonder why I keep buying these books for class. It's not like we ever use them anyways." _He put on his headphones, _"I swear, the professors insist that we get them and what do we do? Not use them. Ever. Whoever invented college text books must have been one hell of a scam artist." _Don made one last check to make sure he had everything he needed. _"Maybe I should've become famous, then I wouldn't have to go to college. Oh, who am I kidding, the last thing I need is someone or groups of people following me around everywhere." _

Derpy felt Don walking, she moved to the hole in the zipper again and peeked out. Before her was a whole different world. There were many buildings like the big cities back in Equestria, however there was something different about them. It wasn't their architecture but the sort of ambiance they gave off, whatever it was, it certainly made her curious. Of course, being only three inches tall, one would be amazed by such a large world in the first place.

The two passed through buildings and under canopies. Eventually they made their way through the Student Union. Derpy had retreated back into the backpack and watched everything from inside. Though she really wanted to stay with her head out, Don's warning on how people would react still played in her head. She then noticed something particular as Don continued walking. She saw the small convenience store the Union had and saw muffins on one of the racks. She gave out a small gasp and looked harder, however her view was slowly becoming obscured due to the fact that they were moving away. She slowly reached out a hoof towards the pastries, "Muffins..." she said slightly saddened as the pastries slowly faded into the distance. "I'll be back for you..."

Don reached the lounge again. He was the first one there; he always was. He enjoyed the quiet time there before it got full at around nine and by then it would turn into an animal house. He set his bag down and sat in one of the sofas and sighed. _"Silence is golden." _He continued to sit there when a sudden thought struck him. _"Shoot, I should get outta here." _He grabbed his bag again and started for the door.

He had was just about to reach for the handle when the door opened and he heard a familiar voice; "Hey Don, Ready for more ponies?" Lewis greeted. _"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-" _Don mentally screamed but then he got an idea. "Oh hey man, I got an exam to study for so-" Don began but Lewis only waved a hand. "Say no more," Don mentally relaxed, his ruse of an exam worked. "And nothing helps you study better than Ponies before a cram session!" Lewis finished. "W...What...?" Lewis dragged Don back to one of the tables. "Yep, nothing makes studying better than Ponies, and we're only done with half of season one, we still need the other half and then season two!" Lewis said bringing out his laptop. "Half of season one...? ...and season two?" Don said a bit incoherently. _"God, why do you do this to me?" _

Derpy poked her head out of the backpack again. She noticed she was inside now and was surrounded by tables and other furniture. The room looked empty enough so she decided to venture out a little bit, just not too far from the backpack. She slowly crawled through the zipper hole and tumbled down landing in a sitting position. She sat there a couple of seconds letting the disorientation fade away till she shook her head a bit.

She then spread out her wings she let out a small grunt as she felt her wing muscles relax and be used after being confined for so long, next she stretched her leg muscles and her back, then she got up on her hind hooves and began to stretch her for-hooves by raising them over her head and switching between the two. After stretching she decided to take a good look around the room.

There were large cushioned chairs, sofas off to one side, and tables used for eating and other multipurpose tasks. Derpy was in awe of just how huge this area was, not to mention the gargantuous size of the furniture, She began to question why Don didn't let her come in the first place, there were all sorts of nooks and crannies to hide in everywhere.

Just then a door swung open which caused Derpy to jump and quickly hide back in the backpack. She peered out again and saw two other humans walk by, "On second thought, maybe I should stay near Don's bag, I don't feel like getting stepped on." She supposed she could've just flown out of the way, but that much attention might not be good for her well-being.

Derpy spent the next hour exploring about in that general area making sure she was within a safe radius of the backpack just in case she needed to hide again. Each time someone would come in, she would stay within the shadow the backpack cast and watched someone else come in and sit down. Eventually she heard a familiar voice;

"What time is it? Oh man, Its almost class time." Don said looking at his phone. "Oh hey, how about that, sorry man, and you needed to study for that test." Don raised an eyebrow. "Test? Oh right, the test, yeah about that, it got canceled." Lewis recoiled in confusion. "What? How would you know? You didn't check anything while we were watching Ponies." There was a brief moment of awkward silence. "I like the part where Applebloom forces that one pony into buying apples." Don said breaking the silence. "Yeah that was a great part...but that doesn't answer my-" Lewis was cut off, "Well, gotta go, that test isn't gonna fill out itself y'know so I'll be seeing you around."

Derpy jumped back into Don's bag just in time. She felt herself being lifted off the ground and onto Don's back again. She felt him travel for a couple of minutes before peeking out again. She gasped when she saw hundreds of humans walking about and going to various places. It was just about an hour before and the campus seemed lifeless and quiet, now it was buzzing with life and noise.

Don entered one of the buildings again and rounded through the hallways to the designated classroom. He set his bag down again and sighed. _"Hooray, History of Mexico, now I get to hear about more terrible things the Spanish did to the indigenous people of Mexico. I wonder what we'll hear about this time? Forcefully taking land? Racial Oppression? Both? Find out this and more this week on History Channel!" _

Don put his head in his hand and sighed, _"Could this day possibly get any worse?" _Just then his professor walked in. "Good Morning Class," There were a few uncharismatic good mornings in response. "Well, it seems as if no one got any sleep last night, what a shame, and here I thought I would have an exciting lecture." He opened his briefcase and brought out some notes. "Now, where we last left off, we were discussing the enconmienda system and we were talking about how the Spanish immediately cut off the head of the native governments and put on their own head..."

Don made a small grimace at the colorful analogy the professor used, but he didn't expect anything less from the history professors around this college, they were quite the strange bunch; a little TOO excited about their own fields. He rolled his eyes and moved for his backpack.

He unzipped his bag and peered inside. "SURPRISE!" Derpy yelled standing on her hind legs and waving her arms. "WHAT THE FU-" Don clasped his bag shut and looked around. The entire class and the professor were looking at him, he could've sworn the professor was shooting daggers at him. Don sat there in awkward silence and gave a visible gulp trying to quickly thing of something. "Uh, Um...theres a ...well, you see...I have...Its kinda...there's...Spider...in bag..." The whole class stared at him still waiting for a coherent explanation. "E-excuse me!" Don said getting up and quickly exiting the classroom.

Don ran towards a bathroom kicking open the door, he made a quick check to see if anyone was there before opening the bag and Derpy flew out. "DERPY WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I TOLD YOU STAY HOME!" Don yelled. "I told you I was bored and I wanted to see what you did during the day!" She replied. "What if someone sees you? Do you realize what kind of consequences there would be?"

Don froze immediately when he heard a toilet flush and a door open. He turned and looked and saw someone staring at him with a completely bewildered face at what he was seeing. The only thing that Don could think about right now were two words.

"Oh crap..."


	7. Cellophanes and Magic Tricks

Cellophanes and Magic Tricks

Don stood frozen in place as the person in front of him gave him a quizzical look. Unsure of what to do, he visibly gulped and continued to stare at the other person. It was a full minute before the silence was broken. "Uh, are you okay man? You were...talking to yourself." Don shook his head, "Talk...talking to myself?" he looked at Derpy and then back at the other man.

"You mean...you don't...see...anything right HERE?" Don emphasized by making circular motions with his arms around Derpy. The other person shook his head slowly. "No man, I don't see anything there." He stepped forward and reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. "I'm from student counseling and psych services, you should call me. Please." He said handing over the card and then walking out. 

Don blinked for a couple of seconds processing at what just happened. _"He didn't see Derpy, why couldn't he see her? Did he just make a pass at me? Why didn't he wash his hands?" _Don quickly dropped the card. He turned to Derpy, "You mean nobody could see you this entire time?" Don nearly shouted. Derpy only shrugged her shoulders as she hovered in mid air. Don felt something snap in his head and the only thing he could do was let out a frustrated yell.

Outside the bathroom everyone just stopped and looked at the door to the men's restroom. One student spoke up after Don's scream. "On second thought, let's not eat at the cafeteria today..." he said to his friend quickly walking away.

Don sat lazily at one of the tables outside the Student Union with a soft drink in hand wondering what to do with the extra time. At this point, there would be no use in going back to class, at least not without being murdered with stares. He took another sip and sighed, it was going to be one of those days.

Derpy on the other hand was amazed now that she could fly without any restrictions. She hovered about looking at all the different people and how all of them were doing or going somewhere different. She flew over to a nearby by table and looked at someone working on their laptop.

She looked curiously at the computer and marveled at it. It somehow reminded her of the typewriters back home, however there were a lot more keys to it and no paper. She climbed onto the computer and got a closer look at the buttons being careful as to not get in the way of the fingers that were furiously typing. She inched closer only to have her fore-hooves plant themselves on the "shift" key thus making all the words on the computer in caps.

The student continued forward in a cruise control sort of mode not seeing the capital letters on the screen as she typed straight from her notes. A couple of seconds later however her attention was shifted back to the screen. "What the..." she muttered. She looked at the keyboard and noticed the shift-key was stuck in place and made a motion toward it.

Derpy seeing the human make a move to where she was standing quickly flew away. She noticed the girl give a funny look before shaking her head. "Weird." was all the human said before going back to typing. Still fascinated by the typing and the computer, Derpy flew in from the other side to keep watching. She kept following the typing cursor as it made its way to one side of the paper to the other, amazed at the speed this person was going. Derpy got closer again and climbed on top of the computer once more. However this time one of her hooves stepped on the power button and stayed there.

A couple of second later and the computer screen went blank the sounds of typing abruptly stopped. "MY PAPER," The student screamed, this startled Derpy and jumped back. "It's all gone!" Derpy took this time to quickly fly away again from the distraught girl and head back to Don who was looking at the student panic and shaking his head.

"What did you do?" Don asked. "Nothing! All I did was stand there and watch her type!" their exchange was interrupted by the girl screaming again. "I didn't even save!" Don face palmed. "You need to be more careful when you're around people. You never know what they're going to do, c'mon, let's get outta here before that girl starts getting violent." He said as he got up.

Derpy landed on Don's shoulder currently not occupied with a backpack strap, "Where are we going now?" she asked. Don thought for a moment. "Let's go to the Library, at least you'll stay outta trouble there and we can find a place where you won't destroy student careers."

The two walked in silence for a bit, till they entered another building. "What's this place Don?" Derpy asked. "It's the science building. It's where we...learn science." he said plainly. "What about magic? Do you have a Magic Building?" Don let out a chuckle. "No, people aren't magic. Although some claim to be, but really there's no such thing as magic here, illusions yes, magic no."

Derpy didn't really question as to how a world can work without magic, but if Don's world was still here and he could live in it, so be it she wasn't about to question anything. The two walked on in silence again before they passed by an open classroom door. She flew off of Don's shoulder and hovered looking into the room. "Is there a class in there?" she asked pointing. "Yeah," Don whispered. "Best not make too much noise or else we'll disturb them."

"So who can tell me what these three elements have in common?" the science professor asked pointing to the periodic table. The professor made a motion down where Copper, Gold and Silver were. One student raised their hand, "They're all precious metals?" The professor paused for a moment. "Well, yes, that's correct, but what else?" Silence. "Anybody at all?"

Derpy looked at the periodic table. "Oh, they're all group eleven transitional metals, and they all have complete D-electron shells." she said rubbing her chin with her hoof. "...what?" Don asked rather shocked. "You at the door!" The professor called. Don looked around and pointed at himself with a quizzical look. "Yes, you! Do you know what they all have in common?" Don shifted nervously. "Uh...They're all ...group eleven transitional metals...and ...they all have complete D-electron shells...?" The professor pointed at Don. "Correct! You're a genius! No doubt a fellow student of science! Tell me son, what's your major?" Don gulped. "History, sir."

The Professor shook his head and looked back at his class. "You all should be ashamed of yourselves by getting one-upped by a Primary-Source-Loving Junkie." Don felt the entire class give him death stares. _"I am so dead when I walk to my car later."_ Don quickly left the room with Derpy in tow. "How did you know that?" Don asked. "Know what?" Don stopped and looked at Derpy. "About copper, gold, and silver." Derpy only shrugged. "I dunno, I just did." Don sighed. "You know, sometimes I wish you would give me better answers."


	8. Conveniences and Free For Alls

Conveniences and Free For Alls

Don sat in English class half attempting to listen to the professor . He closed his eyes and was about to fall asleep when a whisper invaded his head. "Don" Derpy whispered, "I'm bored." Don lowered his head as best as he could to her level. "Yeah, me too, but I can't leave since my attendance is required." Derpy huffed. "So what am I gonna do?" Don thought for a moment. "Would you like to draw?" Derpy's eyes lit up. "Okay!"

Don reached into his backpack and pulled out another pen and clicked it open and handed it to Derpy. He opened his notebook and turned to a blank page. "Here, now draw." Another voice made Don jump, "Is there something you would like to add to the discussion Mr. Lacson?" the professors voice called. "Um, No?" Don stuttered. "Then please, refrain from making anymore comments then." they finished.

Don quickly brought up his book, he was thankful that he sat in the back corner of the class, it allowed him some sort of privacy and most of the other students sat away from his general vicinity which made conversation with Derpy less noticeable, save for the volume. The only reason he raised his book was to hide the fact that Derpy was using his pen, and explaining on how a pen was drawing by itself to the rest of the group wasn't exactly on his agenda.

Derpy sat on her hind-quarters and grabbed a hold of the pen with both her hooves and began drawing. Although it was a little more slippery than a quill, the little padded portion of it near the tip provided better grip for her. She thought for a moment before looking up again. "Don," she whispered. "...What?" came the reply. "What should I draw?"

Don ran a hand over his face, he was about to start paying attention, or atleast try, to the lecture. He thought for a moment. "A tree and some flowers." He finished. "Mr. Lacson," the professor called out again, "What was that you just said?" Don stopped and panicked for a split second. "Um, I said...On Three..I've been stuck on number three for a few hours?" He said giving a sheepish grin. The professor eyed him suspiciously, "We haven't gotten there yet, but apparently you've been reading ahead, good for you."

Don gave a relieved sigh, _"I can't believe that worked and its probably my only luck out for today, all the rest of the day from here on out I'm on my own. Thanks fates, you really know how to stick it to me." _He continued on to listen on for the duration of the class and avoided to any eye contact with the professor whenever questions were asked. If there was one rule he was sure about, it's never make eye contact with a teacher when a question was asked. It was like they could smell and sense the inability to answer and it was some kind of sick fun they like to have while asking the unsure.

"Mr. Lacson, could you tell us what's wrong with number three then?" the professor called. _"Oh c'mon! I didn't make eye contact! I followed the strict code of not answering a question! This is what I get for lucking out in class." _Don looked up at the professor and looked back at his book. "Uh, number three?" he stuttered. "Yes." the professor replied. Don looked at the problem, he had NO idea what the answer was and now he felt as if he was on center stage.

Derpy looked up from her drawing and saw the human struggling with the answer. It was a full thirty seconds of silence before the professor spoke up again. "Do you know the answer or not?" She looked at Don again and saw the defeat in his eyes before she heard him speak, "No..." he said while sinking in his chair a bit. Derpy carefully set down the pen and looked around the classroom and saw the stares from the other classmates, some sympathetic, most disapproving, and some not caring at all. She was suddenly reminded of the times when other ponies were disappointed by her when she couldn't do something right and she knew how exactly Don felt right now.

She moved to where Don's hand rested and put her hoof on it. He looked down and met a reassuring smile from Derpy. As funny as it looked due to the way her eyes were, it still held a lot of value. In only that gesture alone he could see her saying "It's okay, you tried your best". He only gave a small smile and a very soft, "Thanks."

Don suddenly felt guilty knowing full and well he didn't try at all. He knew it was his fault for not paying attention, but the way Derpy had just leveled with him said a lot about who she was. Sure, she was more clumsy than someone walking on stilts on greased-ice, but she was very sympathetic and supportive. Maybe he could give more effort, if not for his own sake but for Derpy's too.

The class trudged on without anymore incident and eventually dismissal came. Don put away his things and slung his backpack over his shoulder he looked at Derpy and motioned with his head to follow. Derpy obeyed and flew after him, after catching up she landed on his unburdened shoulder and proceeded to let him do the traveling for her. The pair eventually reached the parking lot and looked over the large area filled with metal looking devices of different shapes, sizes, and color.

"What are these?" Derpy asked flying over to a car. Don raised an eyebrow, "You've never seen a car before? Just how exactly do you get around where you're from?" Derpy landed on the trunk of the vehicle they were nearest to. "A Pegasus like myself will usually fly if it's not too far where we're going, and unicorns and earth pony's usually walk or take carriages there or sometimes we'll take a train if it's really really far away." Don mulled the information over. _"Horses riding horse-drawn carriages, redundancy at its finest." _His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing, he fished the device out of his pants pocket and clicked it on. "Hello? Hey Mom...yeah, okay... Sure, I can get it on my way home... Okay, I'll see you later, bye."

"What was that?" Derpy asked while eyeing the curious little black box Don put back in his pocket. "What was what?" Don asked raising an eyebrow. "That!" she said pointing at his pocket. "Oh, this?" he asked bringing out his phone again. "It's my cell-phone, y'know, the thing I sit next to you every night so I don't roll over and squish you?" Derpy only looked at it more. "Well, yeah but, you never explained WHAT it does." Don looked at her with uncertainty, "Seriously? You don't have anything like this back where you live?"

Derpy thought for a second, "No, I've never seen anything like that before. What does it do?" Don sighed, "Well, it lets me talk to people instantly over large distances. It makes getting or telling information much easier than having to wait to meet someone and its much faster than the mail." Derpy only nodded pondering what Don just said. "So who were you talking to?" Derpy asked. "Oh, that was my mom, she wants me to pick up more strawberries. Someone's been eating them all lately." He said in an accusing tone. Derpy only gave a proud smile. "And they were delicious!" Don sighed, so yeah we'll be heading to the store-" he was cut off by Derpy gasping. "A store? Do they have muffins? I hope they have muffins!" Derpy said with a hopeful and excited grin.

Don stood there with a slightly exasperated face, "Yes. They have muffins but-" he was cut off again by a loud gasp from Derpy, "Oh my gosh! They have muffins! Can we get one? Can we? Can we? Can we?" She said jumping up and down. The pressure from her jumping was just enough to set off the car's alarm. With a scream Derpy jumped and latched onto Don's arm. Don only shook his head, "What did we learn today?" He asked looking down at the Pegasus holding onto his arm. "That cars are scary..."

The car ride home was now a little more bearable beings that Don had someone to talk to, in fact, Don welcomed the change with open arms. "So, where's your orchestra?" Derpy asked while looking at the interior of the car. "Orchestra? I don't have an orchestra." Don said giving a quick look at Derpy before averting his vision back to the road. "No I heard it this morning while I was hiding in your backpack." Don thought for a moment. "Oh, I know, you heard me playing music from my MP3 player."

Derpy gave a confused looked, "An empty three player?" Don laughed, "No, M. P. 3 player," He said emphasizing on the first part of the devices name. "Don't you have anything that plays music where you're from?" he said glancing down at Derpy again. "Sure, we have records and record players, why?" Don sighed, "Ok, well think of this," he said patting the MP3 player, "as a record player, but it can play more than just one record."

"Ooooh," Derpy said somewhat amazed. The two sat in silence for a while before Don spoke up again. "Come take a look outside, you wanted to see what my world is like, well, now you can." Derpy felt the car start to climb and incline before it leveled out again. She flew up to the dashboard and gasped at the sight before her. There were hundreds of cars zooming about and buildings as far as she could see. "Wow, I've never seen anything like this before." Don raised an eyebrow. "Really? You've never seen a giant city before?" he asked. "Well, we have big cities like Manehattan, but not with all these, what did you call them? Cars." she finished before flying back down to the passenger seat.

"Yeah, that's how people get around for the most part, not very many of us walk anymore except for short distances, or rarely even that, but for long distances we take cars, or we fly." This made Derpy more attentive, "Fly? How do you fly?" She asked. "Well, I'll have to answer that later, right now, we're here at the store. " Don said.

Derpy flew to the Dashboard and looked out. It was another parking lot full of cars however, there were people pushing carts and milling in and out like a beehive or an anthill. Don pulled into the parking lot and found a space not too far away from the entrance. Don turned off the car and began to get out. "Well, are you coming or what?" Derpy shifted her attention to Don. "Okay!" she said flying towards Don. She landed on his shoulder as he closed his car door and the two proceeded inside.

Derpy looked curiously at the closed glass doors. There were no handles on it. "How do we get in?" she asked looking up at Don. "Simple, we just walk through it." He casually replied. Derpy was intrigued and worried about what was to happen next. As the two got closer she moved closer to Don's neck. When the pair got close enough the glass doors magically slid open and a rush of air passed over them both slightly making Derpy's mane get undone.

"I thought you said there was no magic here." Derpy said. Don chuckled, "That wasn't magic, that was eletricity. Like I said, we don't have magic, just science." Derpy was about to ask something else when she finally noticed the store and all of its products that it had to offer. There were numerous shelves lined with all sorts of food stuffs, and various other items from one end of the building to the other. "Wow," she said in awe. "There's so much...stuff." she said while looking around. "Yeah, everything you need and more all in one location, and in this town there's two more stores just like it." Derpy looked up again at Don surprised. "Two more? Where do you get all this stuff from?" She said while taking flight around Don. "Everywhere really, food processing plants, farms, dairy farms, y'know, places like that."

The two walked on towards the produce as Derpy took in the sights. They stopped at the pastry section to look at the various cakes that had been put on display along with all the other sweets set out to be bought. Derpy, however, claimed that there were no better places to get sweets than Sugar Cube Corner. Finally after some time, the two arrived at the produce section.

"Hmm, no wonder." Derpy said to herself. "No wonder what?" Don asked as he headed for the refrigerated section. "Oh, the reason the fruit here isn't as sweet as back home." Derpy said still eyeing all the different produce. "And what reason would that be?" Don asked inspecting one box of strawberries. "Oh well its simple really," Derpy said hovering in front of Don, "Since there's so much demand from all these people, the farmers rush to grow their crops, in turn this makes the quality of the products go down."

Don had a blank look on his face. "What?" he stuttered. "So that's why you should support your local businesses. And muffins!" she said landing on Don's shoulder. Don shook his head after all that he just heard. _"Did I just get schooled by a Pegasus. Yes you did, Don, yes you did and damn, it burns." _

Derpy's attention shifted to a stack of cans not too far away. "What are those?" she asked quickly zipping to the tower of aluminum. Don headed over to where Derpy was hovering, "It's a stack of canned soup, tomato by the looks of it, and you better watch out or-"

Don's sentence was interrupted by the sound of aluminum cans falling to the floor. He could only watch on in disbelief and what was happening. He looked at Derpy who was holding onto one can at where the center used to be. "Oops, my bad." Don face-palmed, and suddenly looked around, only to be met with the gazes of other shoppers. He stood there for a second wondering what to do.

He bent down and started to pick up a can before exclaiming, "What? Three for five dollars?" he then scooped up an arm full and ran off with Derpy quickly following him. The other shoppers only looked on as the young man ran off with cans of soup before one of them spoke up. "Three for five? Shoot, I'm taking all I can get!" as they moved in on the scattered cans. "Not before me lady!" someone else said, before long there was a mad grab for soup which eventually turned into a free for all.

Don sighed as he set the cans down in another aisle. "That was way to close," he looked back as he heard footsteps running passed only to see several security guards running towards where he came from. He quickly turned around when he heard Derpy gasp, "Derpy whats- Oh no." he said.

Before him lay the snack aisle, with Derpy hovering where the muffins were. She had the most excited face at the sheer grandeur of all the different types and brands of muffins. "It's...beautiful..." she whispered to herself. Don could've sworn he heard a sniffle and saw a tear run down her face but he quickly dismissed that. "Derpy, c'mon, we gotta go." He got no response. "Hello?" he asked waving a hand in front of her face. "Huh? Oh, Hey Don, when did you get here?" He only shook his head. "I said we need to go." Don reiterated. "What? Why?" Derpy asked. "We got what we came for, so it's time to go." Derpy only turned back at the muffins. "But...muffins..." she said sadly panning around at all the different flavors.

She was about to follow Don when she gasped again and flew towards one of the muffins. It was a giant blueberry muffin neatly wrapped in plastic that was just about the same size as her. Her eyes widened and the very sight and flew in as if in a trance. "Derpy C'mon, we need to leave." Don pleaded. Derpy quickly came out of her trance and faced Don, "We have to get this muffin!" she said with a serious face. "What? Why?" Don asked. "Because it's the biggest muffin I've ever seen!" She said. Derpy went over and picked up the large muffin and held it above her head with both hooves. "Please?" she asked. Don sighed, "I don't even know if I have enough for both-" Derpy interrupted him, "Pleeeasee?" she asked giving him puppy eyes.

Don sighed, _"Damnit, not the puppy eyes, ffffuuuu-" _visibly defeated he caved, "Fine, we'll take the muffin." Derpy's eyes lit up again. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" Don rolled his eyes and noticed three nuns giving him a shocked stare. Don thought for a minute before realizing what they were seeing, a floating muffin in front of a guy who is apparently talking to himself. Don quickly snatched the muffin from mid-air and made his way passed the three women staring at him as he moved. He cleared his throat, "Sisters, giving them a curt nod." they only looked on in horror. "Uh, have a blessed day...and may God be praised." he said as he did a quick cross over his chest before he left. _ "And now you're going to hell for making it look like you were making fun of them Don, way to go." _

After paying, the two made their way back towards Don's car to continue the last part of their journey home. There wasn't much conversation this time as Derpy was too enthralled on her newly acquired giant muffin. Don made a quick glance at her and found her laying on top of it stroking the pastry gently with a content smile on her face. "Muffin..." he heard her say in a daze.

Don shook his head, he didn't have any spending money for the rest of the weekend, not that he had plans or anything, but at least he could do something for Derpy, regardless of how clumsy she was. Now he had to think about what else to do with the rest of the weekend, but he could figure that out tomorrow.


	9. Wings and Wakeup Calls

Wings and Wake Up Calls

Don slept peacefully knowing the comfort of the weekend was here which meant he didn't have to wake up to any obligations, or so he thought anyways. He suddenly became aware of something in his slumber; he felt a rhythmic poking on his chest and soon enough, the rest of his senses were beginning to function. He faintly heard someone calling his name over and over again which only got louder and louder as his sense of hearing turned on.

"Don! Don! Wake up, Don!" Derpy called jumping up and down on his chest. Don groaned and turned over. Derpy hovered in the air before landing on his shoulder. "C'mon Don, wake up, its morning!" Don let out another groan. "It's too early..." he said still half asleep. Derpy had a confused look on her face. "Early? Its Eight-Thirty!" Don pulled the blanket up further. "Too early." He mumbled. Derpy hovered for a second wondering how to get Don out of bed before she had an idea. "But I'm hungry and I already finished the muffin from yesterday!" Don instantly sat up, "What? How is that even possible?" Derpy laughed. "I'm kidding, I didn't finish it, I just wanted you to get out of bed."

_"You're losing your edge Don, you got just bested by a Pegasus, again. How does that make you feel? It feels great Bob, just fantastic. I'm going to Disney world after this too!" _Derpy interrupted his mental rant, "So what are we gonna do today?" Don stared at her with a blank expression for a full minute before laying back down again. "Going to sleep that's what we're doing." Derpy huffed in frustration, "You can't sleep all day you know!" Don pulled the blanket up again, "Is that a challenge?" he rebutted. Derpy sighed, getting the human out of bed was going to be more difficult than she thought. She landed on his side again and thought for a moment rubbing her chin with her hoof. Then she had an idea, and flew off into the kitchen. She returned and landed on Don's pillow, "Wakey Wakey..." She said with a devious yet playful tone.

In one fell swoop she quickly slid a sizeable chunk of ice she retrieved from the kitchen into Don's shirt. "OH WHAT THE FU-" Don screamed flailing a bit before falling off of his bed. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" he screamed. Derpy only smiled, "Now that you're up, what's there to eat?" Don ran his hands over his face, _"I hate my life...and it's not even nine yet..." _

Derpy sat on the table happily eating more fruit and small pieces of toast. Don sat hunched over the table staring into the designs of the table cloth gripping onto a coffee mug as if his life depended on it. _"I just wanted to sleep in, is that so much to ask? And why the hell did I get coffee? I hate coffee." _

Don had just finished pouring the coffee in the sink when he heard his cell-phone ring. He quickly ran back to his room and picked it up. "Hello?" Don instantly recognized the voice on the other end. "Hey Man, you ready for a new episode of Ponies today?" Don was taken back a bit, "Lewis? How did you get my phone number?" Don asked. "Oh, yeah, I know a guy," he replied, "anyways, new episode of Ponies today don't miss it!" he said before hanging. "No Lewis, wait-" Don sighed, "How in the world did I end up knowing that guy?"

He was about to return to the kitchen when his phone rang again causing him to jump a bit. "Hello?" Don heard Lewis' voice again. "Oh yeah, also a couple of us are meeting up later for Wing Night, you wanna come? " Don mulled the offer over. "Wing night? Um, yeah sure, I guess." Don said a bit unsurely. "Relax man, you'll fit right in, I mean we like ponies and you like ponies..." Don shook his head, "What? I never said that-" he was cut off again, "So anyways, we'll be meeting at around seven, see you then." Lewis said hanging up.

Don set his phone down and sighed before returning to the kitchen. He came up to the table and noticed Derpy staring up at the ceiling. "What are you staring at-" he stopped as he noticed that a piece of toast was stuck to the ceiling. "How...Y'know, I'm not sure whether to be shocked or impressed at what you did." Don said rubbing his head. "I just don't know what happened..." Derpy replied. "Yeah, I'm sure you didn't and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know either."

The two sat on the living room sofa wondering what to do until the evening. "So, what are we gonna do today?" Derpy asked again. "I don't know, I don't have any money to go anywhere so we're just stuck here." At that moment Don's dad came into the living room. "Oh good, you're here, and since you're not doing anything how'd you like to mow the lawn?" Don kept a bored look on his face. "Seriously dad? Mow the lawn?" Don's father sighed. "There's a twenty in it for you..." Don's face instantly got serious, "So, mowing the lawn huh? Alright."

"By the way," his dad called, "Who were you talking to?" Don froze. "Um, talking to?" Don said beginning to feel a drop of sweat run down his head. "Yeah, I keep hearing you talk to someone but there's nobody in your room and your phone is sitting away from you." Don scrambled for any excuse to give his dad. How would he describe that he was talking to a small Pegasus that nobody but he could see? Next thing he knew he would be dragged away by people wearing white coats. That explanation wouldn't end well, either that or his parents would assume he was on drugs, and he didn't really want to spend some time in some kind of rehab.

"Oh, I was just trying out some...new thing... on the computer..." Don stuttered. "New thing?" his dad questioned. "Yeah, talking over the internet and whatnot, just trying it out. Anyways, I gotta mow the grass." Don finished and quickly left the room with Derpy in tow.

It wasn't too warm outside so mowing today wasn't going to be as excruciating as Don thought it was going to be. He rolled the push-mower out from a small shed and looked it over. The mower had definitely seen better days, but it still worked, at least he hoped it did. Derpy on the other hand looked at the machine curiously, wondering what it would do. Don did say it was for cutting grass or something like that, but just how it would do that made her ever more the inquisitive. She watched Don screw open a cap and peer inside and nodded to himself before screwing the cap back on. He then went over and pushed a little soft button a couple of times before grabbing a rope and pulled on it with what appeared to be most of his strength.

The mower roared to life and caused Derpy to cover her ears at the sheer volume of its engine. She quickly brought out a tiny pair of earmuffs and put them on. The noise was at a more tolerable level now and she perched herself on Don's shoulder. The task itself was rather boring, as soon as Don reached on end of the yard, he just turned the mower around and went back in the other direction, she now understood why Don was a bit reluctant to do this.

Eventually the task was complete and Derpy and Don sat on the patio outside. "I forgot why I don't really like mowing the lawn." Don said. "What?" Derpy asked. "I just said how I don't like mowing the lawn." Don re-iterated. "What?" Don sighed, "I said-" he stopped when he faced Derpy. He noticed the earmuffs she put on were still on her head, and gently pulled them off. "There, is that better?" Derpy nodded. Don examined the tiny earmuffs. "Wait where did you get these-no, never mind, I don't wanna know. " He handed them back to Derpy, "Well, first things first, I really need to shower now." He said while getting up. "And by the looks of it, so do you." Derpy looked herself over and noticed she had pieces of grass sticking to her and her mane. "Yeah, I could use a bath to."

Don had finished his shower and was going to start getting Derpy's bath ready. He wondered why she wouldn't take a regular shower and insisted on a bubble bath, but then again, a shower at that size might be a bit painful he assumed. He chuckled a bit remembering the first time he had to get Derpy's bath.

"So, where do I take a bath?" Derpy asked. "What? Bath?" Don asked raising an eyebrow. "You take baths?" Derpy giggled, "Of course I do, I don't want to go around being dirty." Don sighed and led Derpy to the bathroom. "Wow, you have a huge bathroom." she said looking around. "Yeah I guess," Don said eyeing the walls. "Well, here it is." Derpy looked at the humongous tub in front of her. "I don't think this is safe for me, do you have anything smaller?" She asked looking down into the porcelain. "This is the only tub I have, not unless-" he stopped midsentence and began to think. "Hold on, wait here, I may have something."

Don made his way into the kitchen and began going through the cupboards. "C'mon, where is it..." he said to himself pushing aside Tupperware, and other assorted dished. After a few minutes of searching, he discovered what he was looking for; a large gravy boat that his mom had put away that didn't get much use. "This ought to be big, well, small enough I hope." Don said as he made his way back to the bathroom. A voice called out to him which made him stop dead in his tracks. "Don? What are you doing with my gravy boat?" his mom called.

Don went into panic mode again and began to scramble again for a reason or excuse to give. "Um...I'm...making gravy?" he lamely finished. "In the bathroom?" his mom said giving him a look that made it clear she wasn't buying it. "Okay, okay, I'm doing a project for school that involves hydrogen peroxide and... coins." Don's mom raised an eyebrow, "And you need a gravy boat...why?" she pressed. "For a controlled environment, duh, c'mon Mom, get with the program." he said. _"What the hell? Controlled environment? Do you even realize what you're saying? Shut up, she's buying it!" _

"We'll I guess..." Don shook his head. _"I can't believe this actually worked...good job team, high five!" _ he turned around to head into the bathroom. "Just be sure to clean it and put it back where you found it." he waved a hand, "Yeah sure thing, got it Mom."

Later that evening Don was getting ready to head out with Lewis and whatever other crew was going to be there. He hoped that it wasn't going to be too crowded, Don was a person of few words, and when there was a group, there were even less words to be said, not unless he felt there was something of value to be voiced, or someone asked his opinion, which even then, there wasn't much said there as well.

Don walked into his room when Derpy called out to him. "Where are you going Don?" she asked. Don looked at Derpy, "Oh, I'm gonna meet up with Lewis and some of his friends for Wing Night." he said while putting his wallet in his pocket. Derpy's eyes lit up, "Wing Night? I didn't know you could fly!" she began to circle around Don, "Where are your wings? How big are they? Are they the same color as your hair?" Don face-palmed. "No, you don't understand, I don't have wings, Wing Night means we're going out to eat." Derpy stopped flying. "What?" she asked landing on Don's desk. "Wing Night. As in, we go to a restaurant and EAT wings."

It was a full thirty seconds before Derpy realized what Don was saying. "Y-you...eat...w-wings?" she asked hugging herself and her wings. "Yeah, that's what Wing Night is." Don said casually as he put his cell-phone in his pocket. "MONSTER!" Derpy yelled grabbing a pen and throwing it at Don. "Oh what the-" Don shouted dodging another pen. "You're a monster! How could you eat the wings off of a helpless-" she stopped midsentence, "What kind of wings do you all eat during Wing Night?" she said stopping the fight for a brief moment. "Buffalo Wings." Don replied. "Oh...How could you eat the wings off of an innocent buffalo?" She asked throwing more projectiles from the desk.

"Hold on a minute!" Don yelled, stopping the assault of assorted objects. "We don't eat buffalos! In fact, buffalos don't even have wings, I don't know why they call them that, but they just do, as for wings, they're chicken wings, not anything else." Derpy still had an angry look on her face. "You're still a monster! Eating innocent animals like that, how could you?" Don sighed, "Okay, how about this, I won't eat anything animal related while we're there." 

Derpy looked at the human dead in the eyes. "Do you promise?" she asked. "I promise." Don replied. "Do you Pinkie Promise?" she asked again. Don sighed, "Yes, I pinkie promise" he said holding out his pinkie finger. Derpy looked at his finger confused, "What's that?" Don raised an eyebrow. "A pinkie promise, what else?" Derpy shook her head, "No, no, no, that's not a Pinkie Promise." Don was now confused. "What? How is that not a pinkie promise?" Derpy huffed in frustration, "A Pinkie Promise is like this: 'Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" she said doing the motions. Don had a blank stare on his face, "You want me to do that?" Derpy nodded. Don shook his head, "I can't believe I'm gonna do this... Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Happy?" he asked Monotonously. "Yes!" she said clapping her hooves together. Don rolled his eyes and looked at the clock, it read six-forty. "Well, it's time to go." He said grabbing his keys.

Don arrived at the restaurant, and wondered if he should go in to see if he was the first one there. He got out of the car and locked it before proceeding inside. "What's that smell?" Derpy asked. "It's the smell of fried matter. When you're hungry, it smells good, when you're full, it's absolutely disgusting." Don explained. The two entered the building, Don scanned the room and noticed Lewis and a couple of other guys sitting at a table in the center. _"Great, I was hoping he would've chosen a place off to the side where we're less noticeable." _

Derpy was amazed at the insides of the building. There were large screens playing all sorts of various things. It was certainly hard to focus on at least one of them. She wondered why such a place would have a fast paced environment, after all, it would certainly affect the whole dining experience in a negative way wouldn't it? She noticed that she had lagged considerably behind Don before she flew up to him and perched on his shoulder.

"Don, you made it!" Lewis greeted. "Yeah, I made it." Don replied and sat down across from the others. "This is the first time I've been out on a Saturday night in a while, it's a nice change of pace." Don said. "We'll we're glad to make your life more interesting." Lewis said. _"You have no idea..." _

Derpy sat on Don's shoulder looking around the room again when she saw a machine full of toys at the other end of the room. She took off and flew towards the claw machine and pressed up against the glass. "Wow, so many toys." she said looking at the different stuffed animals. One of the things in particular struck her fancy. Embedded in the middle is what appeared to be a cupcake plush toy, which could be debated that it was also a muffin. "I have to have you..." she said almost in a trance.

She quickly flew over back to Don and landed on his shoulder, "Don," she whispered. "How much is it to play the claw game over there?" Don looked out of the corner of his eye, "Twenty-five cents." he whispered. "Do you have twenty-five cents?" she asked. He fished around in pocket, before setting the quarter on his thigh. "Hey man, were you just talking to yourself?" Lewis asked. "Uh, no, I was just running a few things in my head making sure I didn't forget anything...like money." Lewis raised an eyebrow. "Relax man, if you forgot some cash, I got you."

Derpy flew back towards the machine holding onto the quarter. She flew low this time in order to prevent the slight chance that someone sees a floating quarter about the restaurant and starts some kind of story of the place being haunted. She inserted the coin in the game and flew up to the control stick. Moving the claw about she hovered it over her prize of choice, she looked over the lay about of the claw and when she was satisfied of its position she pushed the red button on the stick and watched the claw drop into the small cluster of toys. The claw embedded itself and stopped before retreating back up and only moved the prize upwards before dropping.

Derpy gasped as she saw she almost had her prize pressing herself up to the glass again but was quickly disappointed when the stuffed cupcake-muffin hybrid fell back into the sea of toys. Not to be deterred she flew back to Don. "Don, do you have another quarter?" she asked. "No." he whispered. Derpy groaned and flew back to the game. She looked it over and noticed the prize door, pushing it open she crawled inside and looked up, and noticed there was nothing from stopping her from getting what she wanted.

From Don's point of view he only saw the Pegasus fly into the claw machine. _"Derpy what are you do- oh no..." _He continued to watch her fly about inside the machine and pick up what appeared to be a stuffed cupcake and drop it into the prize bin. Don face-palmed at what he just witnessed which caught the attention of Lewis again. "Hey man, what's up?" Don looked up, "Oh, nothing, just remember that I forgot about...uh" Lewis shook his head. "You forgot Ponies didn't you?" Don stared at him for a second. "...yes. yes I did." Don replied. Lewis only shook his head, "Man, you're lucky that I keep tabs on things like this, you'll be up to date on Monday then."

Don got up from the table and walked over to the claw machine._ "I really need to stop getting myself into these predicaments. This can't be good for my health, both mental and physical." _He bent down to the prize door and opened it. "Derpy, what are you doing?" Derpy only held up the small plush toy, "Muffin!" she exclaimed. Don shook his head, "Your love for muffins amuses and concerns me, more so the latter."

The rest of the evening went rather smoothly, Derpy kept herself occupied with the toy she had liberated from the claw machine, while Don attempted to assimilate into the small group he was in, not that he could in the first place since he had virtually nothing in common with the lot. So for the most part he just sat and listened like he usually did. However, Lewis forced his hand every now and then by including him in the conversation by asking him questions. For the most part, he was in whether he liked it or not.

Don returned home later that night and was greeted by his mom and dad. "So how was Wing Night?" Don shut the door. "It was alright, just hung out with the guys." He said making his way towards the hall. "What's that you got there Don?" His dad asked. "Huh, oh this?" he asked motioning towards the plush toy. "It's from the claw machine." His parents nodded, "So you won huh?" His dad asked. "Um...sure. More like forced out but ok lets go with that." Don's parents raised an eyebrow. "Well, aren't you lucky..." his mom said putting a dish into the sink. "Yeah, lucky, sure mom. I'm just overloaded with luck."

_"Why me? And it's not even Sunday..." _


	10. Insomnia and Tech Support

Insomnia and Tech Support

"Don! Don! Wake up, Don!" Derpy shouted jumping on his head. "No, I woke up early yesterday, go back to sleep." Don groaned turning over making a cocoon out of his blanket. "But I'm not sleepy anymore, plus I always wake up early since I'm a mail-mare!" Don silently swore. _"Of all the Ponies that I get stuck with I get stuck with the one that would wake up early...I need a vacation." _Don felt Derpy trying to push him to roll over. "Wake up, and I'm hungry too!" Don let out a low growl, "Fine, I'll wake up. I never liked Sundays, so I might as well not like them even more." Derpy clapped her hooves together, "That's the spirit!"

Don lazily went to the kitchen, he noticed his parents were there eating. "Well, aren't you up early?" His mom greeted. His dad looked up from the paper. "You're up early? Who are you and what have you done with our son?" Don gave a glare at his father, "Very funny, dad." He walked over to the fridge, and took out strawberries, blueberries and other fruits. His mom looked at him quizzically, "And you're having breakfast, with fruit as the main course? Seriously, who are you and what have you done with our son?" Don sighed, "Everyone's a comedian..." He retreated back to his room with a plate of fruit. "Here, eat up..." Don said still somewhat asleep. He put the plate on his desk, which Derpy promptly flew to. With Derpy preoccupied with eating, this was his chance to get back into bed.

Don slowly crawled back under the covers and sealed himself deep in the blankets as some sort shield from disturbance. He laid there for about five minutes before sleep started to set in, he was in the limbo of consciousness when he felt something near him. He opened his eyes and was face to face with Derpy. "You can't go to bed yet, it's time to wake up!" Don flung himself out of the bed, "How did you get in there? I was perfectly sealed! No, no, I don't wanna know. The last thing I need in the morning is a complicated answer." He looked at Derpy who only hovered in the air shrugging. "Or an answer like that." He said uncharismatically while face palming.

"So what are we doing today?" Derpy asked jumping up and down on his shoulder. Don looked at her. "I dunno, I don't usually plan Sundays." He replied. _"Although taking a sedative doesn't sound too bad right about now." _The two stepped outside where Don was greeted by one of the neighbor dogs. "Hi Jasper," Don said kneeling down and petting the dog, "Did you break out of your yard again?" The dog wagged its tail in response before looking up at the human only to cock its head and keep its attention at Don's shoulder before letting out a bark.

Don raised an eyebrow, "What are you barking at boy?" He looked around trying to figure out what got the dog's attention before setting his eyes on Derpy. He thought for a moment. "Derpy, could you fly on top of my head for me?" he asked. Derpy looked confused, "Why Don?" she asked. "I'm just trying an experiment, so could you do that please?" He replied. "Okay." Derpy took flight and perched herself on top of Don's head. All the while, Don looked at the dog and noticed that he followed her every movement and watched her carefully. Don had Derpy do a couple of more fly-by's just to confirm his suspicions. "Interesting," Don mused. "What? Why'd you have me fly Don?" Derpy asked finally landing on his shoulder again. "It would seem that Jasper can see you." He looked around and noticed one of the cats from around the neighborhood was staring also.

Derpy only looked confused, "Why's that?" Don just shrugged, "I don't know, but it's a little myth or legend that animals can see the unseen. Y'know stuff like ghosts or death-" he stopped for a moment and turned to Derpy. "Are you SURE that I'm not dead? Because this is starting to sound like the afterlife's slowest crossover ever." Don led the dog back to its own yard before returning to his porch. "Don!" his mom called from the door. "Can you go into town for me and pick up a couple of things? No rush, just as long as you get the things I need?" Don mulled the request for a moment. "Perhaps, but-" he was cut off. "I'll throw in some cash too." Not needing anymore persuasion he got up. "Okay, just tell me where to go and what to get."

Don pulled into a parking lot and began to get out. "Where are we Don?" Derpy asked flying a little higher than normal to get a better view of the building before them. "We're at the mall, or to make it sound more rustic, an indoor bazaar." He replied while locking his car. The two headed inside and were greeted with a low level of noise. "I thought there would be more people here Don." Derpy said looking around. "Well, that's because somebody woke me up early today," Don said emphasizing on "somebody" while looking at Derpy. "I'm not a somebody, I'm a somepony!" Derpy argued back. "Somepony? I'm not arguing over vernacular-" Don stopped and looked around and noticed a couple of people were staring at him, one child spoke up; "Mommy, what's wrong with that man?" the mother pulled her child away, "Don't stare dear, its impolite, plus that man is very sick in his head."

Don quickly left the scene, and headed down to one area of the mall. "Okay, this crazy stuff ends today, I need to find a way to talk to you without making look like I'm insane." Don said sitting down on a bench. The two sat there idly watching people walk by, while Don brainstormed on how to remedy his current situation. He was just about to give up on the idea when someone passed by talking on a phone. _"Cell phone, I could make it look like I'm talking on a cell phone. But how?" _He turned the gears in his head for a while before coming up with an idea. "I got it!" Don said standing up. "Got what Don?" Derpy asked. "C'mon, I'm about to make myself a little less crazy."

Don stood in front of an electronics store, Here we are." he said, "What's this place Don?" Derpy asked. "An electronics store, bunches of little gizmos people don't need or materials used for the sole purpose of destruction. Yeah, this store has it all." He walked inside and began to browse the cell phone ear piece section. "Oh yeah," he said in a low voice. "feel free to look around the store, just don't break anything." Derpy gave a salute and flew off to view the different devices in the store.

Don browsed for a bit before his reconnaissance was interrupted. "Do you need any help, Sir?" Don looked up. _"We meet again Salesman..." _Don focused his attention to the attendant, "Uh, yeah, I was actually looking for a blue-tooth headset, one that is good quality and is affordable." The salesman nodded and started with an explanation on the different brands and the qualities of each. _"Oh my gosh, stop pushing all the products and give me just a satisfactory headset, it's not like I'm REALLY gonna use it, oh he's asking me something, back to the talking..." _

"So, what kind of phone do you have?" the employee asked. "Huh? Oh uh, this one." Don said showing his phone. The employee raised an eyebrow, "Uh, can you even get blue-tooth on that thing?" Don looked at his phone, it wasn't exactly old, but it wasn't new either, considering it was a bar phone and not a flip open one or one with a keyboard built into it. "Uh, I think so?"

Derpy flew around looking at all the different devices in the store. She watched a couple of TV's as they played sports clips, she found it interesting the way humans played sports, most of it being rough and contact. She moved onto other devices and eventually came to the laptops, she looked it over there were many different icons, buttons, and colors displayed over the screen just like the one she saw when she was at Don's colllege. She crawled onto the laptop and pushed a button, nothing, she continued to press buttons until the computer let out a "beep". With this new sound, she continued to press on to make this confounded machine work.

Don continued to listen to the employee drabble on and on about the different ear pieces trying to find an opportunity to end the conversation so he could make his own decision. _"Geez, this guy has been talking for what, ten minutes now? Somebody's working for a raise, or to move up the corporate ladder." _It was about a minute later when he found his opportunity to end the conversation. "Well, okay, they all sound good, I'll just keep browsing then." Don interjected. "Well, alright then, if you have any more questions just feel free to ask." he breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

Derpy decided to give up on trying to make these machines work. She had thought she got one to work when the screen changed to a blue one, but there were all sorts of words and numbers on there, and on top of that the buttons weren't responding anymore. This happened with computer after computer till all of them had the same blue screen. With nothing else to do she flew back to where Don was, "Have you decided what you're gonna get Don?" Don looked up, "Yeah, I think I've found something, all I need to do is pay."

After paying Don sat at one of the benches and began opening the ear piece. "Stupid boxes, it's like they're trying to keep me out or something." After about a minute he had freed the ear piece from its prison and put it on. "We'll, how does it look?" he asked looking at Derpy. She rubbed her chin with her hoof. "You look stupid." Don's face was emotionless. "Thanks for the bit of confidence." he said sarcastically. He was about to speak when he heard voices from the store. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE COMPUTERS?"

Don looked over at Derpy. "What did you do?" Derpy only shrugged. "I was just trying to use them, I just don't know what went wrong." Don ran a hand over his face, "I thought I told you not to break anything." Derpy landed on his shoulder, "I didn't break them, they were still whole when I left." Don shook his head, "That's not what I meant by break- never mind, at least now I have a viable way of talking to you without looking like I'm losing my mind." The two continued to walk through the mall, _"At least look it anyway..." _


	11. Monotony and Incriminating Evidence

Monotony and Incriminating Evidence

Monday came and it was like every other Monday for Don, wake up early and head to school. He yawned as he walked into the Student Lounge with Derpy in tow, _"I just want a good night's sleep, is that so much to ask?" _He felt Derpy land on his shoulder, and made a quick glance at her. She was looking around taking in the sights and the size of the room, Don smirked a bit, her inquisitive nature and blissful ignorance of all the things going on in the world was amusing; in fact, he was a bit jealous. He came up to one of the cushioned seats and sat down, letting out a sigh as he leaned his head back. "You're free to explore, just don't go too far." Don said bringing his gaze back to her. "Okay" she said and began to fly off, "And don't break anything!" he called out.

Don sat for about five minutes in the silence of the union, he closed his eyes and relaxed. _"I think I ought to take a nap right about now." _He was about to nod off when a voice cut into his head. "Hey man, you ready for more ponies." Don's eyes shot open. _"FOR THE LOVE OF- HOW DO I NOT REMEMBER TO STOP COMING HERE?!" _Lewis dropped his backpack near a seat across from Don's and sat down. "Whoa, look at you with a blue-tooth headset." He said while bringing out his laptop. "By the way, you look like a tool." Don face was stoic, "Gee, thanks, that's just the kind of thing I wanted to hear in the morning." Don said. "Glad to help." Lewis replied putting on an amused smile.

The rest of the day went by without incident more or less, Don tried his best to stay awake in class for the most part while Derpy either drew on paper or listened to what the professors had to say. Sometimes he wondered if she understood at all at what the professors were talking about since this was one of the other forms of higher education, but then again, he knew Derpy was intelligent despite her...short comings.

The ride home was uneventful, no random calls from home to send him on errands this time, so there was just a straight drive. The lack of conversation today between the two put a lethargic mood to the drive. Don looked over to the passenger seat and saw Derpy laying down on her back and was sound asleep. He smirked and grabbed his MP3 player scrolling through it before reaching a playlist he entitled "Music for the Soul" and hit the play button. Although Don's preferred music of choice was Rock and Metal, he had a soft spot for Classical and Orchestrated pieces. He sighed and felt himself calm down, he also chose this particular playlist as to not to disturb Derpy. Melodic piano music began to play through the car's speakers, this had to have been the first time in a long time that he felt content.

Don nudged Derpy when he finally came to stop in his driveway. "Hey, wake up, we're home." Derpy slowly opened her eyes and yawned, "Huh, what was that Don?" she asked still somewhat disoriented. Don shook his head, "I said we're home." He replied while grabbing his backpack. Derpy stretched her wings and took flight and landed on Don's shoulder promptly laying down on her stomach. "Aren't you the lethargic one today." Don said. "I'm still waking up, give me a minute." Derpy replied. The two went inside and Don unceremoniously threw his backpack in a corner and sat down at his computer and sighed. The day was long and boring and Lewis trapped him into watching more ponies, this was one of those times where he wished he could disappear to an island or somewhere to relax.

He stared at the computer screen even though it was off, he turned and looked at Derpy who was staring intently at his phone, she approached it and touched one of the buttons. It gave off a beep that made her recoil with a small yelp. Don shook his head and went back to staring at the blank screen, _"I really wonder why I have Derpy here, I mean, this has to be some kind of mistake or cruel joke the universe is pulling on me." _His thoughts were interrupted when a voice called to him. "Don," he turned and saw his mom standing at the doorway. "Yeah? What are you doing here so early-" he replied only to be cut off. "What is _this_?" his mom asked bringing up a small silver package that was no bigger than one inch and thin. "I pulled this out of pants pocket when I did the laundry."

Don felt his blood run cold, _"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH ONE OF THOSE!? WHY WOULD I HAVE ONE OF THOSE?!" _He stared at the silver packet as his mind scrambled for answers. "I don't know." he replied. "Did one of the guys give this to you?" she interrogated. "_One of the guys? Did one of the guys give it to me? Was it Lewis? WHERE DID I GET THAT?!" _Don swallowed hard and began his response. "I have no idea where I got that I swear." Don said. He noticed his voice held as much shock as his mom's did, _"I am so dead And I still don't know how I got that." _His mom eyed his suspiciously then looked at the small silver package again; deciding that enough was enough and she ripped it open.

Don on the other hand was in full panic mode and nearly died when she opened the item in question. It was a full three seconds before both of them realized she had just opened a moist-towellete packet. Don let out a huge sigh of relief and put his head on his desk, while his mom only started laughing at the whole situation. "Don't scare me like that." Don said. "How was I supposed to know this was a moist towellete? It had no logo or anything on it since I had washed it with your pants." Don ran a hand over his face, "Now I know where I got that, it must've been from when I went to the restaurant with the guys. I must have put one in my pocket and forgot about it." Don's mom laughed again, "Well, at least we know what this is. I had my suspicious at first considering that I have no idea who you're talking to all the time and I know you've had a girl in here." she said.

Don shook his head, "What? I've never had a girl-" he was cut off again. "Oh please, don't lie to me, you're always talking to someone and you scramble every time we ask questions. You know the rules around here." she said. "But I don't-" His mom waved a hand, "Never mind, and if you insist on breaking our rules at least give us grandkids with that girl you're talking to." She said turning to leave. Don turned back to the computer, "That's not likely considering that its biologically impossible-WAIT WHAT?!" Don shouted rounding the doorframe of his room. "WHAT KIND OF HORRIBLE THINGS ARE YOU TELLING ME?!" He only heard his mothers laughter in the kitchen. Don looked at Derpy who was on his bed, her gaze met his and she innocently waved. Several awkward and borderline lewd thoughts crossed his mind. _"OH MY GOSH, NO! WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN?! THATS JUST SICK AND TWISTED! WHO THINKS ABOUT SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS?!" _ He stopped and looked at Derpy again and cringed, _"I feel like I need an acidic bath to feel clean again." _


	12. Cold Truths and Reality

Cold Truths and Reality

Several days had passed since the moist-towelette incident and Don tried his best to forget about it even though it would haunt him for the rest of his life. He was in class trying to stay awake and take notes only to find himself dozing off and to be awaked by the sudden jerk of gravity on his head. _"I really need to stay awake buts it's so freaking boring." _He looked at Derpy, who was looking around the class as well as keeping her ears forward towards the professor.

Don continued to painstakingly listen to the lecture, it wasn't that the professor himself was boring, but more that the content of the lesson was. However, he was lucky that professor didn't have a monotone voice like some of the others did. Actually, if he could describe the teacher's voice it would be in a "as a matter-of-factly staccato voice". Which led Don to believe that this particular professor would be a little TOO into his field. Much like some of the other college professors, he noticed that most of them were either crazy, or monotonous. He still hadn't decided which was better.

"The Spanish sought to expand their colonies by seeking out the boundaries of the new world." Don glanced down towards Derpy who was fully engrossed in the lecture, this was probably the first time that another being would learn about human expansion into other lands, this had to be exciting to her or something. "However they didn't account for how large the continent was nor did they count on getting lost along the way as well," Don scribbled something into his notes vaguely reiterating what the professor said, "subsequently their supplies dwindled and one of the first things to be consumed, unfortunately, was their faithful steeds."

"What?!" Don froze. He looked down at Derpy who was now standing and had a scowl on her face. _"Sweet baby Jesus have mercy...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"_ Don mentally shouted at his professor.Derpy was dumbfounded by what she just heard, "How could they do such a thing?! And to such innocent ponies!" She flew and stared into Don's face clearly enraged at the thought. "HOW COULD THEY?!" Don sat there unsure of what to do he shifted his eyes around the room as if looking for somebody to help him with the current dilemma. "Can we please discuss this later...?" Don asked in a low gritted voice. "NO! HOW COULD THEY?! THEY WERE HARDWORKING AND LOYAL THEN WHAT HAPPENS?! THEY GET EATEN!" Derpy yelled.

Don sank in his seat as Derpy continued to assault him by demanding answers. The professor looked up and noticed Don's uncomfortable look. "Oh my, is everything alright back there?" He asked. Don looked up and swallowed, "Not...exactly?" Don said and tugged at the collar of his shirt. "What seems to be the problem then Senor Lacson? Is the eating of equines not sitting well with you?"

Don shifted uneasily "Um, you could say that..." Don said still getting told off by Derpy. "Oh my, well, this isn't the first time something like this happened in history, in fact, in some cultures-" Don cut off the professor, "NOT HELPING!" Don yelled and quickly grabbed Derpy. "Um, I need to excuse myself for a moment." he said before getting out of his seat and quickly leaving the room. "Well, that was certainly interesting," the professor said addressing the class, "I've never had a student that disturbed before by this particular section. Perhaps I should direct him to student Psychological and Counseling Services."

Don ran into the restroom again and double-checked to make sure no one was in there before releasing Derpy. "Okay, listen," Don said pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, "I understand that humans eating horses is a huge shock to you but I want you to know that I find that completely disgusting and I don't support such a thing." Don looked around slightly confused, "Where'd you go?" He continued visually searching before resting his eyes behind the water faucet. He saw Derpy trying to hide from him, albeit vainly, behind the metal fixture where she clutched it and eyed him with fear and anger, he noticed that she was shaking too as she hid."You're not going to eat me are you?"

"Come on out, I wouldn't dream of eating you nor would I allow anyone else to eat you. I promise." He said while sighing. "Pinkie Promise?" She asked a bit apprehensively. Don face palmed, "Please don't make me do that oath." he begged, "Then I'm not moving." The two stood there for a full minute just staring each other down. _"Don, you're in a Mexican Standoff with a 3 inch tall Pegasus in the Men's room at college, I don't think you can go any lower from here on out." _he let out an audible growl. "Alright, fine." He began the motion, "Cross my heart and hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in my eye." There was an audible flush and a stall door swung open and a guy walked out of the stall. The other student washed his hands and noticed the shocked Don holding his hand over his right eye. "Nice, a Pinkie Promise. Brohoof." Was all the other guy said and fist bumped Don and left.

"I hate my life."

The rest of the day progressed without any real incident and before long the two were on their way back to Don's house. They sat in silence for a while before Derpy decided to speak up, "Don, I notice that you sleep a lot in your classes, why is that?" Don thought for a moment keeping his gaze on the road. "I guess it's because I'm tired, I do wake up at six every morning." Derpy pondered this for a moment and nodded, "Yeah, but you also don't take very good notes either, what happens when you take a test?"

This hit home for Don a bit as he quickly had a flashback to every test he took throughout his entire school career. "I... usually either barely passed or failed." He said after a few seconds of silence. "Why?" Derpy asked. "I... don't know, I guess it's because I don't have very good study habits, never developed them." Derpy continued on to press further. "And why is that?" Don continued to think further into his earlier years. "Can we not talk about this? That's something I'd rather not discuss." Derpy only pressed on, "C'mon, there has got to be a reason for that, I mean, everybody loves to learn. I mean back at home all the little fillies run towards the school and can't wait for the day to start."

Don's eye twitched, "BECAUSE I DIDN'T CARE ALRIGHT?!" He yelled. Derpy suddenly fell silent. "Do you have any idea what it's like to constantly be badgered to do better when all I wanted to do was just be a kid?" He said staring straight ahead on the road. "You have great potential Don, why are you wasting a bright mind like yours on games and comics Don?" He breathed out a frustrated sigh, "My parents and teachers didn't realize that forcing me to do such things would only drive me further away from my education." Derpy only sat and listened before speaking up, "And you didn't tell them anything?" she asked.

"They wouldn't have listened to me otherwise. I'm just a kid, what would I know?." He said. "But they only wanted what was good in your best interest." Derpy rebutted. Don only shook his head, "Apparently my best interest was to take any forms of entertainment away from me. Yeah, I understood that it was punishment for my poor performance but still, It only caused me to be driven further from doing well." Don shifted in his seat, "I guess it was some sort of petty revenge I could take out on everybody." Derpy sat down on her hind-quarters. "But it harmed you in the process as well." she said. "I know it did, but I didn't care, they may have taken away everything fun from me, but they couldn't take away my imagination." Don looked at Derpy before returning his eyes to the road.

"I learned how to imagine during that time. How to dream, how to cultivate ideas in my mind. Y'know, just be creative. Everyone was right, I did have a bright and sharp mind" He continued to look forward, "But-" he stopped. Derpy stood and flew over to his shoulder. "But what?" she asked, "I couldn't bring my ideas to life." Derpy finally saw what was bothering Don, all of his frustrations were in that one sentence. Even though he had made it to college and was doing well enough to stay afloat, that was the very thing he regretted the most. "I had no skills Derpy. I couldn't draw, I couldn't write stories, I didn't have any of those skills that could help me." He said while clutching the steering wheel, "And I still don't have them, which is probably why I chose a field that does a lot of research papers. Just quote somebody else, give them credit and you do just fine."

There was a moment of silence between the two. Derpy was processing all that was just said while Don relived some painful memories. "I'm going to help you Don." Derpy said quietly. "Hmm?" He looked at Derpy out of the corner of his eye as if he broke out of a trance. "You may not have skills to do any of the things you like, but I'm going to help you be the best history student you can!" She said triumphantly. "I'll help you by improving your study habits and keeping you awake in class." Don furrowed his brow, "I don't think that's necessary-" he was cut off by Derpy, "Of course it's necessary! I promised I would help you and I will."

_"What have I gotten myself into?" _


	13. Muffins and Meltdowns

Muffins and Meltdowns

Don woke up and looked at his clock over on his desk, it read "6:02". _"No, I don't wanna go to school." _ he mentally complained, but the sense of responsibility overcame his will to stay in bed and he carefully got up. Don walked into his bathroom and turned on the light and stared into the mirror, _"Man, look at you, you're falling apart in your twenties," _He moved closer to the mirror and continued his self examination. His hair was somewhat grown out a bit but still short and black, he was about to move on when he noticed something, _"What the, is that...?" _He reached and gave a quick yank on a single strand of hair and held it up. _"Oh no, I'm already getting white hairs. Way to go, at this rate, I'll be complaining about the temperature of my soup and where my pills are by thirty." _

He ran a hand over his face, _"Seriously though, I'm wearing down, my normally light brown skin is...well, it hasn't changed much, but my eyes, they look and feel tired, not to mention the dark brown in the iris makes them look dead. I need to cut back on classes next semester and lighten up a bit." _He shook his head and slapped his face with both hands, "Alright, time to get ready for school."

"So are you ready for your first day of becoming the best History student?" Derpy asked from the passenger seat. "What? You mean we're actually going through with this?" Don asked as he made a quick glance at her before returning his eyes to the road. "Of course we are," she replied, "I said I would help you and I will." She said standing up. "Couldn't we leave my study habits out of this and I graduate with mediocre grades and get a job I hate, and then I die a poor, stressed out man, with no legacy or mark on the world?" Derpy frowned as she took flight and landed on the steering wheel. "Care to run that by me again?" she said, her voice slightly venomous, "Uh, I said, I'm totally psyched about it and that I can't wait." Don said rather nervously. "Glad to hear it!" she said returning to her normal self while smiling and flew back to her seat.

_"Donovan Lacson, you just almost got killed by a three inch tall Pegasus, how do you feel? It feels terrible Bob, just terrible. My life flashed before my eyes, got a few instant replays, almost soiled myself, it really moved me Bob." _

The two were walking towards the Union when Don heard a voice behind him, "Hey Man, guess what?" he stopped, and began to turn around, _"Whoever is listening out there in the divines, please stop the world so I can get off." _he mentally pleaded, "Lewis, what are you doing here this early, and how'd you know I was over here, for that matter, how'd you even know I park in this direction?" Don asked slightly confused. "Oh, I know a guy, anyways, I just wanted to tell you that there's free breakfast nomables over at the IT building." Lewis replied. "Free breakfast? Why are they doing that?" Don asked, "Something about getting to know the people behind the network or something, I dunno, but who's gonna argue with free breakfast?"

Derpy tugged on Don's shirt-sleeve, "Ask him what they have." she said. "So...what are they giving out over there?" Don asked. "Oh, y'know, just some basic stuff for light eaters, like, apples, bananas, fruit juice, cereal bars, pre-packed muffins." Derpy's ears perked up and began pushing Don, "No more talking, more walking!" she said. "Son of a-, hey man, listen, I gotta go, can't let that food disappear on me, I'll catch you later."

"C'mon, hurry!" Derpy yelled, "Or else they'll run out!" Don sighed, "I highly doubt they're gonna run out." Derpy flew in front of Don and gave him a look that suggested he was crazy. "Are you kidding me? Who can resist the call of a muffin?" Don raised an eyebrow, "Obviously not you." They continued to walk till they saw a table with a couple of people standing around it. "Free snacks, and get to meet with your IT people all this week!" read a sign by the table. The two moved up, "Hey, I'll take that muffin right there." Don said while pointing. "Alright cool, but first you gotta take this survey." One of the person's standing said and handed him a piece of paper. _"I knew there was a catch." _Don said mentally slapping himself. "Hurry and write! That muffin is calling to me!" Derpy yelled.

Don wrote some kind of half-hearted and generic response on how the network was great and to keep up the good work. It's not like anyone really gave a damn about the network anyway, after all, everyone was there for the free snacks in the first place. Don handed the paper back and grabbed the muffin and shoved it in one of the pockets in his cargo pants. Derpy quickly flew down and inside his pocket and began to tear at the plastic that imprisoned her prize.

Don shuffled uneasily as he felt the movement inside his pocket and was about to turn and leave before a voice called out to him, "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?" He turned his gaze and was met with another guy he didn't recognize. "No, I don't think so." Don replied raising his eyebrow. "Hold on, let me try and remember." the helper thought for a moment before snapping his fingers, "That's it, you're the guy that did the Pinkie Promise in the bathroom!" Don felt his blood run cold, "Uh, what?" he managed to stutter out. "Yeah, I remember you now, who were you talking to by the way, I noticed that you had a blue-tooth on, so who was on the phone with you, I mean, it's not every day someone has to do a pinkie promise." Don was taken back a bit, _"How the hell does he even remem- Why does he even wanna know? How nosey is this guy?" _he thought for a moment, "Oh, I was just talking to one of my friends, and they made me promise them to...take...them to...the...museum." he finished lamely.

The helper raised an eyebrow, "Museum? You mean the Museum of Art in town?" he asked. There was a brief pause before the other guy had a smug look on his face, "So, taking a lady friend, nice man, how fortunate for you to go out with a girl who likes the show." he said nodding in approval. Don shook his head, "What? No, I-" he was cut off, "Relax man, it's alright, I understand, I mean, here I am, a stranger asking you about your personal life, by the way my name's Gerard, but you can call me Jerry for short." He said extending his hand, "My name's Donovan, but you can call me Don for short." Don replied.

"So, you work here at the IT Building?" Don asked trying to make conversation, "Yeah, that I do. Actually, I work with the servers, y'know, make sure they run smoothly and keep them maintained." Jerry replied. "Sounds like you get your hands full for the most part." Don said looking at the building behind them. "Sorta, but not really, most of the time it's just routine stuff. You got any spare time? I can give you a tour of the place." Don thought for a moment, "Sure why not, I don't have class for a while." He said, _"Plus it'll give me an excuse for not heading to the union for now." _

The two walked inside and through some halls before coming to some double doors. "Well, here it is," Jerry said while stopping at the entrance. "The entire brain of the college, all the data from students, to faculty and everything else in between all located in one central spot." Don paused, "Huh, interesting." he mused. "So you wanna head in and see it?" Jerry asked. "Is that even allowed?" Don asked looking around. "Yeah its fine," Jerry reassured, "It's not like you can do anything anyways, you seem harmless enough."

Jerry opened one of the doors and the two went inside. Once inside he closed the doors behind them, "Well, this is it, our information highway." He said proudly. "Odd," Don mused again, "I always figured something more...spectacular." Jerry chuckled a bit, "What were you expecting, an AI to greet you? That'd be really cool though" At this time Derpy decided to poke her head out of Don's pocket covered in crumbs of what used to be the muffin. She looked around and noticed the towers in the middle of the room, there were about nine of them and they all had lights that would blink and hundreds upon hundreds of wires spilling out of them. She flew up and landed on Don's shoulder. "Where are we Don?"

Don followed Jerry around as he explained the inner complexities of the servers when Derpy asked her question, He made a quick glance at her before answering, "We're the schools server room, I'll explain later just stay with me." he said. Jerry turned around, "Did you say something?" he asked, "No, no, just musing to myself about all this, go on." Don replied. The tour lasted a couple of more minutes before they came back to the entrance of the room. Don noticed a desk setup and had a computer on it with many other items. "So, what's this computer for?" he asked. "Oh that, it's to help monitor the status of the servers and what not, of course this isn't the only computer that does that, we have more than that, but that's on the second floor." Jerry replied.

Derpy flew off Don's shoulder and landed on the desk and looked at the two talking before looking at the computer screen. There were all sorts of graphs, numbers, and words on it. Whatever this all was, it looked relatively important, so it was best she left it alone. She backed up to gain some momentum to take flight, which in turn knocked over a small bottle of water left carelessly open.

The water slowly made its way down the back of the desk and flowed off the edge, eventually it fell onto the surge protector making it short out and thus causing a power surge through that particular portion of the building knocking out the power to the air condition control unit. With the rising temperatures of the room, the servers would eventually meltdown causing catastrophic loss and damage, all the while the two left blissfully unaware of what was going on.

Don continued down the path heading towards where his classes were to take place, he reached into his pocket for his phone and was greeted with millions of crumbs and what used to be plastic wrapping in his pocket. "What the- what did you do in there?" Don asked bringing out his hand and wiping the crumbs off of himself. "I was really hungry, and that muffin hit the spot." Derpy said. Don sighed, found a bench and cleaned out his pocket the best he could before looking at his phone for the time. "Still got half an hour." he mumbled to himself. "So you said you're full right?" he asked turning to Derpy. "I couldn't eat another bite." she replied rubbing her stomach. "You sure?" he asked again. "Positive."

"Okay then, that means I get to eat now." Don said as he brought out another muffin from his other pocket. Derpy gasped and looked longingly at the new pastry he brought forth. "Oh no, you said you were full." Don said pulling the muffin away from her. "But...but..." she pleaded. "I think you've had enough." he said. "Could you...just...tell me what kind it is?" she asked. He sighed and looked at the package. "It says," he paused, "Banana nut-" he got cut off when the muffin flew out of his hands. "Derpy, I don't think you should eat that." Don warned, "No, Banana nut muffin..." she said using her body as a shield from Don getting the snack.

Derpy groaned and held her stomach, "I tried to warn you," Don said shaking his head "And now you've got a stomach ache. C'mon, I think I know something that'll help with that." Don walked towards the Student Union and went to the small food store inside, he browsed the drinks before coming upon what he was looking for. After purchasing it, he walked outside and sat on another empty bench before opening the drink he bought. "Here, drink this, this should help with your stomach ache." He said. "What it is?" Derpy asked. "It's ginger ale, I heard somewhere it's supposed to help calm a stomach." He poured a small amount into the bottle cap and handed it to Derpy.

"So how do you feel now?" Don asked. "Not much better..." Derpy groaned again. "Well, just give it time and-" he was cut off when Derpy made a hiccup noise and covered her mouth with a hoof. "Uh...does that mean it's working?" He asked raising an eyebrow, "I think," Derpy said before her eyes went wide, "I'm gonna be sick." she finished before holding her hoof to her mouth again. Don panicked and began looking around, "Well, okay, don't panic just calm down and I can find you a place to- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he was cut off as Derpy flew into one of his pockets before he heard her empty her stomach contents.

_"Donovan Lacson, you just had a three inch tall Pegasus throw up in your pocket, how does it feel? It feels terrible Bob, warm, wet and terrible. Words can't describe my feelings right now." _Derpy crawled out of his pocket seemingly better. "Um, do you have anything to eat on you? I'm feeling a bit hungry again..."

_"I hate my life..." _


	14. Bruises and Deli Busts

Bruises and Deli Busts

Don walked into his history class and noticed everyone staring at him, and judging by their stares he figured he was late or so he thought. "Ah, Senor Lacson, good of you to join us. I was just about to get started, please, have a seat." the professor said. Don scanned the classroom and found that his seat near the back had been taken. He mentally swore and made his way to a desk that was nearer to the front but in the middle of class. "Oh my," the professor started, "do I detect a hint of bile in the air?" Don mentally slapped himself, he was sure he cleaned out his pocket the best he could, bile must be more potent in smell than he realized. Don sat down at the desk and grimaced when the damp pocket touched his leg. Today was going to be one of those days.

The professor went over to the computer in the classroom and started booting it up for his power-point presentation. "Now if we could muster some patience, we can begin lecture as soon as I've downloaded my notes." It was about a full minute before the professor began to type in his login information after which the computer went through its setup phase. There was a brief moment before a message popped up saying that the computer was not connected to the network. Disregarding that message, the professor clicked the icon for the internet before he was faced with a "cannot reach the server" message. "Well, it seems as if I can't reach my materials." he said looking at the computer screen. "If only my intern were here, he'd know what to do, until then I'll just blame all this on demons attacking the schools network." Another student piped up, "So does this mean that we don't have class?" he asked in a hopeful tone. The professor laughed, which to Don, sounded rather amused, "Oh my, No, of course not, luckily for you I remembered most of what I wanted to talk about today." There was a collective sigh from the rest of the students, and the professor began his lecture. " Oh just so you all know, there will be a test next week, so be sure to review your notes. Now, when as the Spanish began to push further and further into what is now Texas..."

As the lecture continued on, Don felt the inevitable feeling of fatigue slowly begin to take over him as he took notes. He eyelids slowly closed and just like that he was asleep. Derpy noticed Don's pen wasn't moving anymore and looked up at him. Her brow furrowed when she saw he was asleep and took flight. "Hey! Wake up!" she called into his ear. "Hellooo!" Derpy tried several audible calls only to be unsuccessful in waking the human. She rubbed her chin with her hoof as she thought of more ideas before she decided on a last resort. She flew up to Don's face before turning around. "Sorry Don." she said before she put all her strength into kicking him in the face.

"Ow! What the fu-" Don nearly yelled before he stopped himself. Everyone in the class stopped and looked at him again. "Uh...sorry..." Don looked down at Derpy with a cross face. Derpy only responded with a smile before sitting down and listening to the lecture again. The rest of the class continued this way; whenever Don fell asleep, Derpy responded by kicking him in the face. Don's frustration was becoming apparent, however he didn't want to cause a big scene in class and waited till afterwards to confront her.

"What was THAT all about back there?!" Don nearly yelled. "I fall asleep and you KICK me in the face?!" Derpy landed on a nearby table. "You said you wanted my help! Plus I tried to wake you up, but you couldn't hear me!" Don sighed in frustration, "There's got to be a better way to do this." Derpy flew back onto his shoulder, "I don't think so." she replied. "You have so much confidence in me..." he said sarcastically. "One of us has to."

Don was about to retort when somebody called out to him. "Hey man-whoa, what's with your face? You have a whole bunch of little horseshoe marks on it." Lewis pointed out as he approached the two. Don scrambled for answers, "Well, uh, I.." he mumbled. "Oh I get, you're an Indianapolis Colts fan. That's a good team." Don had a confused look, "Umm, you know what, yeah that's exactly it. Let's go with that." Lewis only raised an eyebrow before continuing on, "Anyways, I just got more episodes of-" He was cut off, "Yeah, that's great, but I got another test I gotta study for." Don said. "Another test? In what class?"

He paused for a moment to think, "Um, History." he said, "But didn't you have a test like that already in that class? You know, when you had a test, then it got cancelled, but you went to go do it anyways?" asked Lewis, "Oh well, yeah, but, that was a...practice...test..." Don said unsurely. "A practice test?" Lewis repeated, "Yeah a practice test, and it would...give us some participation points for class..." Derpy raised an eyebrow, "You're a terrible liar." she said, Don quickly glanced at her, "Not now." he muttered. "What was that?" Lewis asked, "Oh uh, nothing, hey listen, I need to go, gotta go to another class and what not, I'll catch you later." Don turned to leave and he could've sworn he heard Lewis say "But you don't have class right now," but he wasn't about to look back.

The rest of the day mirrored his morning of repeatedly being kicked in the face every time he fell asleep. By the time school was out, Don's face had many little horseshoe hoof prints as well as a massive headache. He was at home when he decided to bring up Derpy's method of keeping him awake again.

"Seriously, this kicking me in the face thing is not helping me at all, at least not my health anyways." Derpy sighed, "Well, it's the only way we're going to keep you awake during class, so until we figure out something else, I'll keep doing it." Don faced her, "And disregard my health and well-being?!" Derpy stood up, "Well, Marie Curie worked with radioactive materials and she had no idea what they were doing to her, but she did it anyways." Don had a blank stare on his face, "That doesn't justify you kicking me in the face! And you need to stop reading my books." 

"So aren't you gonna study?" Derpy asked. Don raised an eyebrow and looked from a magazine he was reading while lying down, "Study? For what?" Derpy flew to his desk, "For the test next week, didn't you hear the professor?" Don just waved a hand, "Oh, that's not till next week though, it can wait." Derpy flew over and landed on his chest with an angry look. "I think you should study." he looked at her, "Or I could study, sure. That sounds like a fantastic idea." He said while getting up.

The two studied for a while, Derpy would have Don read aloud to her and then she'd ask him about people and places he read about. This went on for about an hour before she stopped him. "I think we can take a break now." She said getting up from her place on the desk. "Thank God," Don said while looking up at the ceiling. "Plus I'm getting hungry." she said, "Sure what do you want?" Don asked while getting up to go to the kitchen. Derpy thought for moment, "I know, I want a BLT." Don did a double-take, "I'm sorry, you want a what?" Derpy looked at him confused. "A BLT, you do know what a BLT is right?" Don couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Um, yeah of course I do, but...you...want...that?" He asked again. Derpy sighed in frustration, "Yes, I want a BLT." Don shook his head, "Well, okay I guess...if that's what you really want..." he said leaving the room.

_"BLT, why the hell does she want me to make a BLT?! I thought they ate hay and fruit and stuff, y'know a standard vegetarian diet._" He rooted around in his fridge and pulled out a package of bacon. _"Still can't believe she wants one of these things, but okay, if she says so..." _He went on making the sandwich, still questioning the logic in all of this. Eventually he finished and returned to the room.

"It's ready!" Don called as he walked down the hallway. "Oh boy," Derpy said from the room, "I really love a good _Bread_, _Lettuce_ and _Tomato_ Sandwich!" Don immediately tossed the sandwich off the plate where it landed in the trash can in the bathroom. Derpy flew into the hallway, "Where's my sandwich?" she asked, "Um...it...it was ruined..." Derpy looked surprised, "What? How?" he scrambled for answers, "Uh, this guy...Hamton...yeah it wasn't pretty." Derpy furrowed her brow, "Well, that wasn't very nice of him." Don let out a nervous laugh, "Yeah, totally caught me off guard, although it would've been delicious. c'mon, I'll make you another one." He said motioning for her to go to the kitchen. When she was out of sight, Don let out a long sigh and slid down to the floor. _"Bread, Lettuce and Tomato...BLT, I hate my life..." _

After making her sandwich correctly the two sat down in the kitchen to eat. They sat in silence for a while before Don spoke up, "Can I ask you a question?" Derpy looked up from a small piece she was about to bite, "Sure, about what?" Don thought for a moment, "Your eyes, have they always been like that?" Derpy put down her portion of the sandwich, "As far as I can remember they have." she replied. "Do you see any different than a normal...pony would?" Don asked, "No, I see just fine, it's just..." she trailed off. "It's just what?" Derpy thought for a moment, "It's just that all the other ponies look at me strange and think that I'm...different." Don looked confused, "Different? What do you mean?" he asked, "They think that just because my eyes are like this, and that I'm clumsy, that I'm some sort of..." she stopped. "Invalid?" Don finished, "Yeah, that."

The two sat in silence again, before Derpy spoke up again, "You...You don't think I'm-" Don immediately shook his head, "No, of course not, Clumsy yes, but, some kind of mentally inept pony? No, of course not, I know you're intelligent and that you try your best. You may destroy a couple of things in the process, but at least you try." Derpy looked up and smiled, "Thanks, y'know, that's the first time that I've heard that said in honesty." Don looked confused, "What do you mean?" he asked, "Well, it's just that, I know the other ponies don't exactly... like me." she said. "Of course they like you," Don argued, "I mean, I'm sure they include you in things." Derpy shook her head, "Yeah, they do, but I can tell that they're just trying to be nice."

Don mulled the thought over, _"Wow, she can see through their guises, who knew?"_ There was another lull in the conversation, "So, are you finished?" he asked motioning toward her plate. "Yes, I think I'm done." Don grabbed the plate with a couple of remnants of the sandwich still left on it and placed it on the counter before heading back to the room. "Don," Derpy called, "What?" She flew up and landed on his shoulder, "Thanks for accepting a clumsy pony like me."

The two walked back to the room before Derpy spoke up again, "What happened to your friend Hamton?" There was another awkward silence, "Umm, he ... he got thrown out..."


	15. Pony Rides and Results

Pony Rides and Results

Several days had passed since the sandwich mishap and before Don knew it, it was the day of the test. Normally, Don could remember facts, figures, dates, and other things in general, but when it came to applying them to a test, his mind seemed to shut down and he drew a blank. As he sat in the back of the classroom, he only stared at the desk wondering what will be on the test. His mulling was interrupted when he heard Derpy speak to him in a loud whisper, "Hey, relax, you'll do fine!"

Don only gave a nervous smile and nodded. Their interaction was cut short when the professor walked in, "Hello, I'm sure you all have studied for today's exam. So to make sure you have an appropriate amount of time to complete it, I'll just hand out the test now." The professor began handing the test by separating the big stack into smaller ones and handing them down the rows. "The test is short answer with three essay questions in the back, you are to only answer one essay. If you write two, I'll take the better of the two."

Don got the test and sighed, _"Okay, you can do this, you studied, so give it everything you've got." _He began to read question one: _"How did the Spanish assert their leadership on the newly founded colonies in Mexico?" _ Don thought for a while, before he began to panic, _"Shoot, I can't do this, I can't even remember what I read about this." _He stopped for a moment and looked at Derpy who had a hopeful look as she sent whatever good will she could towards him.

_"At least try and do your best for her, she is helping you after all." _

Don began to write his answer, and before long he was cruising at a steady pace through the test looking at Derpy who was cheering him on. At one point he looked up and saw she had a small flag in her hoof with the words "Go Don!" scribbled on it and a small baseball hat with a "D" imprinted on its center. He wasn't sure if it was the stress of the test making him see things and he went over the deep end or she was actually doing that. He quickly shook off the distraction and turned his gaze back to the test, he needed a vacation, badly.

Don sat down on one of the benches outside and Derpy landed next to him. "So, how do you think you did on the test?" she asked. "I have no idea," he said letting out a sigh, "I answered as much as I could I guess." Derpy landed on his knee, "But did you try your best?" she asked. "Yeah, I guess you could say I did." He said nodding. "Good, this calls for a victory muffin!" Derpy said pulling out two small muffins from seemingly nowhere." She gave Don one and began to scarf down on her own. Don held the muffin on his finger tip, he contemplated the probability of these things giving him diabetes before his thoughts were interrupted, "Hey man, whoa, where'd you get such a small baked good?"

"Uh...it's...um...a...business...venture for myself...yeah, Business venture, I call them, 'Micro-Muffins.' All of the tastiness of a full size muffin baked into a micro-size bite." Don looked at Lewis hoping he'd buy it, "Cool, you go for that man, because that's what we need, more bite-size things." Don let out a sigh, _"Close one..." _Lewis spoke up again, "Hey, so, how'd you do on the test?" Don raised an eyebrow, "How'd you know I have a test?" Lewis was unfazed by the question, "Oh, I know a guy." Don only stared at Lewis with confusion, "Are you spying on me?" His question went unanswered, "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you the local fall festival is this weekend, you should go, there'll be food, fun, I'll be in the dunking booth." Don mulled over the prospect of making Lewis fall into a vat of water. "Yeah maybe, if I have time." Lewis laughed, "IF you have time? You're funny Don, real funny. I'll see you there."

_"How do I end up in these situations?" _

Thursday rolled around and Don was back in his usual seat waiting to see the results on his test. The professor walked in, "Hello class, as you know, it's taken me a while to grade these tests, especially since demons have decided to take out our campus servers. It took me some time to record the grades." There was a collective nod and someone quietly mumbling to themselves, "No wonder I couldn't connect to the server." The professor began calling up students by name to receive their test, "Donovan Lacson" the professor called out. Don jumped a bit and slowly got out of his chair. He walked and looked around the class, to the students who got theirs already, most of them were looking them over and looked pretty satisfied with their grade, with maybe one or two confused with a couple of questions to why they got an answer wrong.

Don took the test and went back to his seat. Derpy sat there expectantly, "So what did you get?" she asked. "I don't know." Don sighed, "I'm not sure I want to find out." Derpy frowned, "Why not?" she asked. "I don't know, It feels like this... looming feeling of doom and that I'm just going to see the same 'F' I've seen for the most part of my life." Derpy got up and put a hoof on his hand. "At least you did your best." she said. Don took a deep breath and turned his test over. He looked at the bottom of the page and saw a red ...seventy-three? He shook his head and double-checked again. The seventy-three was still there. "Did you pass?" Derpy asked. There was smile on Don's face, "Yeah, I did. Even better than I thought. This is the first time I get a higher grade than a 'D' in a long time."

The rest of the day continued on normally, though this time Don stayed awake in his history class mostly because of his renewed energy of passing, and the slight fear of getting kicked in the face. When he returned home he set his backpack down in his room and sat in his chair. He couldn't believe he had just passed a test. Derpy landed in front of him, "So, are you excited that you passed?" she asked. "Yeah, it feels great, and I have you to thank for it." He said. He ruffled her mane a bit with his finger. "You know what this means right?" she said. "What?" Derpy stood up, "You owe me a muffin for helping you!"

"OH COME ON!"

The weekend came, and Saturday morning Don's phone began to ring. Don groaned and haphazardly reached for his it. "H-hello?" There was a cheery voice at the other end. "It's time to wake up, Don!" Don had a confused and tired look on his face. "Derpy? Why are you on the-" he stopped mid-question and looked at his hand. He had picked up Derpy by mistake and was using her as a phone. There was a moment of silence as Don processed what had just occurred, and brought her back to his ear "Can you call back later? It's really early." He then folder her up in a sitting position and set her down before turning over and attempting to go back to sleep. "C'mon Don, it's time to get up! Plus I think you may have got a message!" She said flying over to face him. "What makes you say that?" he said trying to hide inside his cocoon of a blanket. "The fact that it says 'New Message' on it." she said.

Don peeked out of his blanket and saw Derpy holding his phone with her hooves. He sighed and took it from her. He looked on the screen and noticed it was a voice-mail. He pressed a button and listened. _"Hey man, just wanted to remind you the Fall Festival is today, be there. It starts at 4. Also, ponies today." _Don deleted the message and hung up. "So, what was it?" Derpy asked. "It was Lewis, reminding me of the Fall Festival today." he said while putting his phone down. "Fall Festival?! I love festivals!" Derpy said going wide-eyed. "Yeah I don't think I'm gonna go." Don said trailing off. "What?! Why not?!" She yelled. "I don't know, I just don't feel-" He was cut off by Derpy flying in his face. "We have to go. You still owe me my muffin for helping you pass. This will be my muffin." Don stared at her for a brief moment before sighing in defeat. "Fine..."

The rest of the day progressed rather quickly despite the fact the two didn't go anywhere. Four o'clock rolled around and Derpy couldn't sit still. "Will there be food?" she asked. "Yes." Don replied. "And games?" she asked flying around his head. "Yes." he replied as he got into his car. "What about-" she was cut off. "Most likely, we'll find out when we get there." he said. "Oh boy, this is so exciting, this is my first human fall festival!" she said while jumping up and down in the passenger seat.

Don pulled into the parking lot and tried to find a space. "Geez, seems like the entire lot is full, looks like I'm gonna have to park somewhere else." he said maneuvering the car through the labyrinth of vehicles. "Well, hurry, I wanna go to the festival!" Derpy said, her impatience growing with each moment. Don meandered wondering where to park before he decided he would just park on the side of the street. The two exited the car and made their way into the festival.

There weren't that many people yet as it had just started and it was located in a large open lot. There were all sorts of booths selling food, games and raffle tickets and in the back there was a stage where there were some people doing a sound check for a band. _"Well, it looks pretty decent" _ Don mused to himself. "So what do we do first?" Derpy asked flying about Don's head. "Well, first we gotta go buy tickets," he said motioning towards a booth where some people were lining up. The two made their over and after a couple of minutes of waiting they were in the front.

"Can I help you?" asked the attendant. "Yeah, let me have ten dollars worth of tickets." Don said while sliding over the note. "Sure." The attendant went to putting the money in a box and counted the tickets before handing them over. "Thank you." Don took the tickets and moved out of the line. "Alright, now what do you wanna do?" Don said looking at Derpy. She looked a lost at the moment. "Um...what is there to do?" Don rand a hand over his face. "Well, we can either get something to eat, play some games... although they're tailored to younger kids..." he said trailing off. "Let's get something to snack on, in fact, let's get muffins." Derpy said. "You know, I'm not sure they'd have muffins here, I mean, sure they have cakes and cupcakes, but I don't know about-" Derpy got up into Don's face. "Then let's check." she said rather forcefully. "Sure, let's check."

The two went from booth to booth looking at all the different desserts for sale, before they happened upon one that was selling what Derpy was seeking. "Muffins! I want them!" Derpy said pointing to the table down the row. "Alright fine," Don walked towards the booth and browsed, "So...which one do you want?" Derpy looked at the entire bowl full of muffins. "All of them..." she said in a trance-like state. "Ok, I don't have enough for all of them, just pick one or two." Derpy groaned hearing that, "Fine..." she said. She took a full minute looking at all of them before deciding. "This one and this one!" she said pointing. "Okay, good." Don turned his view towards the attendants. "Hi I'd like the-" he stopped when he was met face to face with the three nuns he met in the grocery store from before. He looked at the booth sign: "St. Francis' Vestibule of Baked Goods"

He cleared his throat, "Sisters..." he said greeting them, "I'll take... this one... and this one..." He said grasping the two muffins and handing over the tickets. There was an awkward silence with the nuns just staring at him. "Uh...and May God Be Praised..." Don said doing a quick Sign of the Cross. He was met with only a look of horror as the nuns were staring down at his other hand where Derpy was unraveling the plastic covering the muffin, well, more tearing into it than unraveling. Don quickly turned away and left, _"Now they think you're a demon or some kind of warlock, way to go. Maybe if I'm lucky they'll try and exorcise me or burn me at the stake." _

As Derpy ate, Don began to do one of his personal favorite past-times: people watch. He didn't make assumptions as to what people did in their lives or judge anybody doing it, he just watched humans in their natural habitat as they milled about doing whatever it was they were doing. Most of the time he reserved this sort of activity for malls or parks, but it was just one of those days where it was an opportune moment. He watched for a while, before he was interrupted. "Don, what else is there to do here?" Derpy asked. "Huh? Oh well, what do you- wait," he said gaining his awareness again, "Did you just finish TWO whole muffins?"

The two continued on as they stopped and looked at various booths filled with items for sale, and food. Occasionally they stopped to play some of the games every now and then before they happened upon one particular game. "You call that a throw?! I've seen better throws from toddlers!" the voice shouted. "Oh come on, you couldn't hit the broad-side of a barn!" Don instantly recognized the voice. "Lewis?" he muttered to himself. "Hey you with the stupid ear-piece, why don't you try your luck!" Lewis called out. Don turned and faced Lewis who was currently in the dunking booth and pointed at himself, "Yeah, you, you're the only one with a stupid ear-piece" Lewis said, "I bet you have good aim!"

Don tried his best to bow-out, but Lewis only egged him on. "Come on, why not? Are you afraid or something?!" Derpy flew up to Don's face, "Go on! Do it! You've gotta do it, he's calling you out!" Don sighed, "Alright fine." Don walked over to the attendant and paid, "Yeah, now we're talking." Lewis said from in the cage. "Hopefully you're better than most of the people here."

Don wound up and threw the ball only to miss. "Oh come on, Don, I thought you were better than that!" Lewis called. He threw the ball again, it was closer, but still a miss. "Are you kidding me? My grandma throws better than that!" Don threw his third and final ball and missed again. "Oh what was that?! That was pathetic!" Lewis jeered. "Would you like to try again, Sir?" the attendant asked. Don was mulling the thought over before Derpy confronted him again, "You gotta do it, he's still mocking you!"

He sighed and handed over more tickets. "Hopefully you won't screw up this time, or maybe you will!" Lewis said. Don's next three tries weren't successful, nor were his next three. Defeated and out of money, he turned to leave again. "Later Don," Lewis called, "Next time, try not to suck so bad!" Derpy got into Don's face again, "That was mean of him, why'd he talk like that to you, I thought he was your friend?" Don smirked, "That's just part of the game, the guy in the booth is supposed to rile you up and taunt you, so you can keep playing and making mistakes." Don said. Derpy mulled this over, before flying away. "Hey, come back- oh there she goes..." he said shaking his head.

Don watched the small Pegasus maneuver her way through the crowd before zeroing in on her target; the bulls-eye of the dunking booth. There was an audible "ding" as the bulls-eye was hit and Lewis plummeted into the water. He resurfaced confused and somewhat shocked as to what just happened and began to question this booth's integrity to the attendant. Derpy flew back to Don and landed on his shoulder. "Feeling better?" He asked. "Yes, much better." she replied. "Come on, I'm sure there's other stuff to do around here."

They walked around the grounds more but there was really nothing else until Derpy spotted another sign. "Hey, what's this?" she said pointing. "Huh? Oh that, it's only Pony Rides...you know, let's just skip-" she interrupted him, "Pony rides? You mean rides specifically for ponies?!" she said with some excitement. Don began to sweat a little, "Umm, not exactly..." he said trailing off. "You know, how about we just forget about this." He said trying to get out of this predicament. "I wanna know what a Pony Ride is." she said defiantly.

Don weighed his options and decided to treat this like a band-aid and just rip it off and get the information out there. "Okay, now, you promise me you won't flip out ok?" Derpy flew in front of him, "I promise, Cross my heart and hope to fly and stick a cupcake in my eye." she said doing the motions of the Pinkie Promise. "Okay, well, ponies...or rather, horses from here aren't like where you're from, and human beings used to use them for transportation a long time ago." Don said reluctantly. "Okay, and?" Derpy said rather casually. "Well, that's it, we just used horses for riding and getting around. Not anymore but, every once in a while people nowadays get that opportunity, but it's not that often." Don said. "Oh is that all..."

Don shook his head in a little disbelief, "You mean you're okay with that?" Derpy laughed, "Yes, Earth Ponies are used to hard work and stuff like that," Derpy said, "Plus, I've seen Twilight's assistant Spike ride on her back all the time. To be honest, it looks kinda fun." She said rather sheepishly. Don sighed in relief, "Wow, for a second there, I thought you were gonna fly off the handle there and yell at me again." Derpy laughed again, "No, of course not. If you mistreated them though, I would've probably assaulted your face." Don stopped walking and had a somewhat horrified look. "Duly noted."

They reached the small encirclement, and Derpy was a little bit giddy. "Wow, those are some big ponies." she said. They walked up to where one of them was standing and she flew up to its face. "Hi, what's your name?" she asked the horse. Don shook his head, "I told you, they're not like from where you are, in fact, I don't think they're self-aware." he said. Derpy turned around, "Actually I can hear them just fine. Her name is Sweetums, and she says you look stupid with that thing on your ear."

_"Donavan Lacson, you just got insulted by a horse which you thought had no cognitive thought. How does that make you feel? It...it feels terrible Bob, really terrible. Especially when it's by a barnyard animal that I can't even hear in the first place." _

Don's mental rant was interrupted by the handler's voice. "Hey there, wanna ride?" Don looked up and met their gaze. "Umm, no, I don't have any tickets and stuff I was just coming out here to look at the horses." he said. The handler nodded, "I see, well, everyone should ride a horse at least once. Have you ever ridden a horse before son?" Don shook his head, "No, I haven't." The handler smiled, "Well, then, tell you what, the ride is on me." Don was taken back a bit, "Are you sure?" The handler laughed, " Of course I am, I told you everyone should experience riding a horse at least once. Plus I can tell that you have a small bond with Sweetums there." he said. "Yeah, sure, small bond."

After some explanation and effort Don finally mounted the horse. "You comfortable up there?" the handler asked. "It's, um... really high," Don said a little nervously, "Plus I feel a little big for the horse." The handler smiled, "Nah, you're not." Derpy flew up to Don. "It's true, she says that you're lighter than some people she's carried. She also promises not to go so fast."

The horses started moving and before long Don was riding. It was a little unnerving at first but after a while it was pretty entertaining, sure it was just in a circle, but there was something liberating about it. Derpy landed on the small portion of the saddle that Don wasn't occupying and rode around as well. After a few minutes the ride was over, Don dismounted and landed back on the ground. "So, how was it?" the handler asked. "Pretty fun, that's quite the experience." Don said. "Glad you enjoyed it." Don walked over and petted the horse. "Thanks, Sweetums." he said. The horse let out a grunt. "She says You're welcome."

"So did you have fun?" Don asked. "I did, your festivals are really fun." Derpy said sitting in the passenger seat. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, but did you really have to buy more muffins?" Don asked as he looked at the ten muffins in the back seat. "Yes, and I would've bought more if you hadn't run out of money. You need to carry more of that stuff on you." she said. "Okay, no. The last time you had more than enough muffins, I ended up with you hurling in my pocket." Derpy stood up, "That was then, this is now." Don shook his head, "I don't think you can even finish that many muffins." Derpy landed on his steering wheel, "Is that a challenge?" He thought about it for a moment, "No, no it's not."

There was a moment of silence before Derpy spoke up again, "So how come Pony Rides are only used during festivals or something like that?" Don thought for a moment, "Well, not many people get to ride a horse very often, I guess it's kind of seen as obsolete now, now that there's cars and other technology humans have that can get them places faster." he said, "Also, it's like with all this technology we have, we've kind of...disconnected with nature and we don't go out and enjoy it as often." Derpy nodded as she thought about what Don just said. "I can see that..." she said.

"Because seriously, you really do look stupid with that thing on your ear."

"Don't you start that again..."


	16. Time Quacks and Wall Flowers

**Time Quacks and Wall Flowers**

October rolled around and left just as quickly as it came and now it was October 31st. Don went about his normal routine for the week which meant going to school and doing his best to stay awake with a little help from Derpy. He may have gotten the hang of this whole "class" thing now, but he had to be reminded every now and then. After class the two began walking around campus.

"Why is everyone dressed up so weird today, Don?" Derpy asked as she constantly turned her gaze to other people they passed. "Oh, that's because it's Halloween." Don said, "It's when people dress up in costumes for one day, and kids go out dressed up as well and go trick or treating for candy." Derpy's eyes lit up, "You mean it's just like Nightmare Night?!" Don was a bit confused by this concept, I mean, he felt like he's heard that name before but couldn't exactly put his finger on it. Perhaps he should pay attention to what Lewis kept making him watch rather than just make it look like he was watching by staring at a desk for half an hour.

"Nightmare Night?" Don asked while raising an eyebrow. Derpy stopped and hovered while giving Don a look like he was insane. "You don't know about Nightmare Night?! Sit down over there." Derpy directed while pointing with her hoof. "Y'know, I don't really feel like sit-" Derpy got in his face. "Do it..." Don sighed and sat on a bench nearby. "So, basically, Nightmare Night is kind of like your 'Halloween' except it's more for telling the story of Nightmare Moon." Don was now even more confused, "Well, I'm pretty sure that-" Derpy flew up to him, "I wasn't done yet!" He hung his head in defeat and decided to keep listening. Derpy proceeded to tell him of how they leave offerings of candy for Nightmare Moon in order to deter her from eating ponies instead, this made Don realize this was nothing more than a children's tale and most likely unreal.

He was about to say something when he heard a familiar voice behind him. "Hey man," he felt himself go tense, and turned to face the infamous greeting, "What's up Lewis?" Lewis took a seat next to Don. "I just wanted to tell you about my Halloween party tonight, you're welcome to come. In fact, you have no choice in the matter, you're going." Don was about to speak but Lewis cut him off. "No, I won't take 'No' for an answer, you're going. It'll be fun. Candy, a couple games, dancing and other cool people. Food! How can you say no to free food? Anyways, I'll see you there, oh and wear a good costume!" He said before running off.

"What...just happened?" ge asked out loud. "You got invited to a party!" Derpy said, "And we have to go!"

_"Motherfu-" _

Later that evening as Don wondered what he can do for a costume, when a sudden question hit him, "What time is the party at?" he whispered to himself, his pondering came to a halt when his phone started ringing. Derpy flew up to Don holding the phone with her hooves, "You've got a call!" she said before dropping the phone into his hand and flying back to her spot on the bed. "Hello?"

_"The party starts at 7:30 in case you were asking yourself what time it is."_ Lewis said from the other end. "What the, Dude, seriously, are you spying-" there was an audible beep as the call ended. "How does he do that?!" Don quickly pushed the question out of his mind and went back to the conundrum at hand. _"Seriously, what am I supposed to go as? I doubt Comfortable Man would fly...especially with Lewis." _

He kept thinking for a few more minutes before an idea struck him. " I wonder if my dad still has that trench coat..." he said to himself. He quickly went to his parent's closet and looked through it for a minute before finding the coat. "Perfect. It's even the right color." It wasn't his best idea, but considering the time he had and the small genius of it, it would be just fine.

He stepped into the living and was about to go out the door before his mom stopped him. "Where are you going dressed like that for? And so nicely too." Don sighed, "It's a Halloween party mom, and this character...you wouldn't understand." He said "Anyways, I have to go, I don't want to be late or Lewis won't let me hear the end of it." His mom nodded, "Alright, have fun, and don't come home to late."

Don stepped outside and closed the door behind him. "So what or who ARE you supposed to be?" Derpy asked. Don raised an eyebrow and stepped away from her, "Well," he said adjusting his bow tie for the costume. "I'm 'The Doctor'." Derpy only stared blankly. "A doctor of what?" He shook his head. "Not _**A**_ Doctor, just...The Doctor." Derpy still looked at him confused, "I know you said The Doctor, but a doctor has to be a doctor of something!" She said. "No, I'm just The Doctor! That's it, no title other than 'The Doctor' " Derpy shook her head, "I don't get it." He let out a frustrated sigh, "Ok, well what about you? You're just wearing paper bags on your hooves and on your head. I mean, what is THAT supposed to be?" He asked flipping the question. "How could you NOT know what this is?! It should be really obvious!"

Don dismissively waved a hand. "Okay, you know what? Never mind. We're done here. Let's just go to the party and have fun." He said while opening the driver door. The ride wasn't as peaceful as he thought it was going to be, Derpy was still trying to figure out his costume while Don was trying to explain that The Doctor had no name, at least nobody knew his name. Their mini-argument was cut short as his phone rang. He picked it up and brought it to his ear, "Hello?"

"Hey Donny, I just have a quick question," his mom asked over the phone. "Yeah, what is it, make it quick, I'm driving." He said looking into his rear-view mirror. "Okay, I just wanted to know what that thing on your shoulder was? Was that part of the costume? It looked like a little horse." Don felt himself go rigid and into panic mode. "W-what? You...you saw that? A little horse?" He said trying to regain his senses and keep control of his car. "Yes, was it part of your costume? Because that was some amazing balancing work you did there." His mind was reeling at the fact that someone had finally seen Derpy, be it she wasn't moving, but still, somebody saw her. "Uh, yeah, that was it, just part of my costume. Yep." He said. "Oh ok, well, anyways, have fun, remember, don't stay out too late."

He hung up, and turned his car to the side of the road clearly panic stricken. "Don, what's wrong?" Derpy asked. "My mom, said that she just saw you. SHE SAW YOU." Derpy only looked confused, "So?" He looked at her like she was insane, "Do you realize what this means?!" he asked loudly, "That means people can see you! And now they'll wonder what that is on my shoulder, and then if you move, they'll know you're alive and the next thing I know, I'm at area 51 with the rest of the aliens!"

He sighed and put his head back "Okay, since I can't really explain you to people, I need you to do a big favor for me." Derpy looked up inquisitively, "What's that?" He thought for a moment, "I got it, I need you to act like a doll for me, like, be perfectly still." Derpy wasn't exactly enthusiastic about this idea, but she did understand she didn't want to cause a commotion especially for Don. She flew up to his dashboard and looked at him, "Well, I guess, at least give some break time to move around okay?" she asked. "Okay." Don was about to say something when there was a tap on his window.

He looked out and saw the uniform of the local city police. "Oh no..." He rolled his window down, "Is there a problem officer?" He asked, "Sir, I saw you driving and going a little fast, then you pull over to stop, and I just wanted to know if you were alright." He said. "Oh, yes sir, I'm fine, I just received some shocking news is all. It kinda made me freak out a bit." Don replied. "Hmm, well, just be sure to slow it down son, I won't say anything now about your speeding so consider this your warning." He said. The officer made a quick glance around the interior of Don's car before his eyes settled on Derpy who was currently standing still and looking into the distance making her look like a small figurine. "Huh, nice dashboard ornament," the policeman said, "Don't leave me hanging now, Brohoof." he said sticking out his fist.

Don wasn't sure what to make of what just transpired and fist-bumped the officer with a dumbfounded face. "Alright, you have a nice evening, and slow it down." He said before turning to leave. Don sat there for a minute longer as Derpy returned to her seat. There was only one thing he said at that moment that portrayed his feelings; "...what the hell just happened?"

The rest of the ride was uneventful and quiet, especially since the two had given up on explaining their costumes to each other and with that small incident with the policeman, there wasn't much conversation to be had in the first place. Eventually the card ride came to an end and Don was in front of Lewis' house. "We still have time to back out you know." he said looking the house over. He noticed a couple of Jack-o-Lanterns and some other Halloween decorations strewn about the house. He turned his head to Derpy, "You sure you still want to go, I'm getting second thoughts." Derpy nudged him on, "Oh c'mon, it'll be fun." She said as she wedged herself into the trench coats front pocket. She took a position to where her fore-hooves dangled over the brim of the pocket like she was standing and sat there perfectly still to get into character.

He was about to retort when he heard an ever familiar greeting, "Hey man, glad you could make it. Nice costume, Doctor, but the blue-tooth is really killing it." Don shook his head and turned to face his host, "Hello to you too Lewis..." He noticed Lewis was wearing a toga outfit and even had the olive leaves in his hair. He thought that the cliché toga in college was just some running gag from movies but apparently this was the real deal.

Lewis was about to say something when his gaze focused on his pocket, "Ah, I see what you did there with your costume," He said pointing at Don's pocket, "I knew you'd come around. I really like the theme of your costume. Although your figurine looks really...real...can I touch it?" He said motioning for Derpy. "No!" Lewis raised an eyebrow, "Uh, I mean... No, it's... really delicate...I don't wanna break it." Lewis nodded, "It's cool man, I understand." Don sighed in relief, "Anyways, come on in, there's a whole bunch of nomables and people."

_"That's what I was afraid of..." _

The party was overall good and fun, Lewis had Don participate whenever he could and Don, tried to get Derpy as many breaks as he could by finding a place out of the way and private to let her stretch her wings a bit and let her nibble on some vegetables he picked up along with the occasional piece of candy. Unintentionally, though, Don was the center of attention at the party either because Lewis kept putting him on the spot, or people stopped to comment on his costume or notice the almost life-like "replica" of Derpy. Several people, including Lewis, made attempts to touch Derpy, but Don quickly averted that by saying that it was fragile or that it took him all night to get her to stay like that.

At the end of the evening, he sighed and sat in his car. "Now how am I supposed to hide you from here on out?" Don asked staring up at the ceiling of his car. "I mean, it's gonna be really hard to explain you to all my friends as well as the rest of the populace of earth, and I doubt you want to play statue the entire time."

He spent the rest of the evening wondering how to hide Derpy and was at his desk thinking about it while Derpy sat in front of him and helped him brainstorm. "I know," Derpy said, "I could hide in your pocket like I did tonight, except, I'll have a disguise!" Don raised an eyebrow, "What kind of disguise?" Derpy pondered for a moment, tapping her chin with her hoof before an idea hit her. "I got it," she started, "I'll be disguised as a flower!" He raised an eyebrow again, "How do you expect to pull that off?" he asked. "Simple, like this!" she said.

It was then that Don noticed that she had sunflower over her face like a mask and two leaves stuck to her hooves to act as the Sepal petals. "See?" Don chuckled watching Derpy, "You know, I don't think that'll-" Derpy interrupted him, "Hold on, look, I can sway like if there was wind too!" Derpy began to sway back and forth while sitting in place to emulate the breeze all the while making "whooshing" noises.

Don couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle, he wasn't sure if she was just messing with him or she was being serious, either way he couldn't help but think that the entire site before him was adorable. With the audible commotion he was making, it made others in the house curious. His mom came from around the corner, "What's so funny?"

Don froze in place when he heard the voice. "Uh, what?" he asked. "I asked what's so funny." Don was still with his deer caught in the headlights moment, wondering what his mom will say about having a three inch tall Pegasus sitting on his table dressed up as a sunflower. "J-just a phone conversation?" He said pointing to his ear-piece.

"Oh I see," his mom said, "Talking to that girl you're interested in, I sure would like to meet her one day..." she said leaving the room. Don felt his face get warm, "Uh, yeah I don't think you'd get to meet her, she's...she's not from around here." His mom poked her head around the door frame. "Foreigner, oooh, somebody likes their women exotic."

"Okay, you need to leave." he said getting up and motioning for her to get out. "What'd I say?" his mom asked in a playful tone. "Out." he said pushing her. Don returned to his chair where he swore he saw Derpy with a tinge of red on her face. "W-what did she mean by all that Don?" Derpy asked with her back faced towards him.

The whole situation was awkward enough already but now she was asking questions. "N-nothing. My mom was just messing with me." There was a full minute before Don realized what had just happened. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," He said spinning and facing the door. "My mom barges in here and doesn't notice a three inch tall Pegasus sitting on my desk?" he asked. "I told you, the disguise works!" Derpy said.

He shook his head, "No, something's not right. Mom, can you come in here?"

He knew what he was doing was like playing with dynamite, or at least the equivalent to it. The implications of what could transpire could either send him to the loony-bin or start some kind of huge uproar with the media banging at his door, but like the scientists of old, he did it anyways to confirm something of value, or get crushed under the fact that you were wrong, and you probably shouldn't have done something like this in the first place.

"First you send me out and then you want me to come back, well which is it?" His mom said as she poked her head from around the corner. "You didn't see anything on my desk right now?" Don said pointing behind him. He shut his eyes either waiting for a horrified reaction or just a confirmation that he's crazy. 

"No, just a little flower on your desk, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Don got up from his seat. "WHAT!? JUST A LITTLE FLOWER?! YOU...YOU..." he let out a sigh and grabbed Derpy's costume and pulled it off her eliciting a small "Hey!" from her. "Ok! Now what do you see on the table?!"

There was a moment of awkward silence as his mom continued to stare at his desk. "I don't see anything Donny. You're starting to worry me." she said leaving the room.

He flopped onto his bed defeated, "Okay, I give up, I can't win..." He figured whatever deity or celestial being was watching him was laughing now. In fact, he could've sworn he heard laughing but rationalized was nothing more than his frustration getting to him.


	17. Age Ups and Let Downs

**Age-Ups and Let Downs**

A little over a week passed since Halloween and now it was November 10th. Don went through the usual morning of Derpy trying to get him out of bed early. He made a mental note to never get involved with anybody that was in a business of waking up early, such as bakers or farmers. After some more verbal assault from Derpy, he finally broke and got up. He looked at the clock which read eight-thirty and looked at the calendar.

"November ten-...oh no..." He said to himself. Today of all days was his birthday, and he was now twenty-one. It wasn't that he was a year older, but now that he was legal to drink he hopped Lewis wouldn't call and-

his pleading was interrupted by his phone ringing.

He hesitantly picked it up "H-hello?" there was an all too familiar voice on the other line. "Hey man, just wanted to wish you a very special Happy Twenty-First Birthday!" Came Lewis' voice from the other end. Derpy who had landed on Don's shoulder had been eve's dropping and gasped and went wide-eyed with a big smile as she heard Lewis give birthday tidings. "Uh, how'd you know it was today? I didn't even-" Don started,

"Oh, yeah, well, I know a guy who knows stuff, anyways, I bet you're all worried that I'd take you out drinking today since it's the big 'Two - One' today huh? Well, I know that you're a teetotaler, so you don't have to worry about it." Lewis said which reassured Don somewhat. "But if you change your mind and wanna get totally plastered you just give me a call and I'll show you how to party!"

Don wasn't sure how to react to that, "Uh, thanks. I'll...keep that in mind...?" There was an abrupt click as Lewis hung up. Don pinched the bridge of his nose. "I swear, how do I get mixed up with people like that?" He was about to continue when he heard Derpy behind him, "ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY?!" she shouted. This took Don by surprise considering he wasn't ready to tell this sort of information to her, especially since he wasn't sure how she'd react. "WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE!"

Don waved a hand in the air, "Listen Derpy, I'm not much of a party guy and I'd appreciate it if we didn't make such a big deal about it." Derpy was confused, "But, it is a big deal! Especially since this would be my first human birthday to celebrate!" Don raised an eyebrow, "I'm pretty sure that birthdays are celebrated the same way everywhere, just with a different-" Derpy flew up to his face, "That's not the point! Plus it would be spent with my favorite human I know!"

Don didn't seem to notice the slight tinge of red she had on her face when she said that but continued the conversation, "I'm the ONLY human you know." He said as-a-matter-factly, "See, even more reason to celebrate!" She argued. "Can we just drop this for now?" Derpy let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine, but we still have to celebrate!"

Don went into the kitchen, where his mom was sitting. "Hey, mom, where's Dad?" she looked up from the section of the paper she was reading. "Huh? Oh he had to work today." She said. "On a Sunday?" He asked getting grapes out of the fridge. "Yes, something about his boss wanting something done before Monday." He set down a plate and began picking off grapes. "Also I have to work today too." She said. "You too? Really?" He asked not looking up from his small task.

"Yes, I know it's your birthday, but the Hospital is busy this weekend and they really need me there today. Sorry Donny." Don didn't look up, "It's fine, I had nothing planned for today anyway." His mom slid over a card. "Here, this is for you, don't spend it all in one place." He opened up the envelope and read the card wishing him a happy birthday. He then noticed the five twenty's inside. "Thanks mom." He closed the card and hugged her. "We'll do something after we both get out of work today okay? Grab some dinner or something."

Don returned from his kitchen escapade and dropped the plate of assorted fruit in front of Derpy. "Well, it looks like it's just me and you today conveniently enough. Mom and Dad are out working till later and since I don't really get out till the afternoon we're left here to our own devices." Derpy looked up, "But what about celebrating?" she asked. He sat down and shook his head, "I told you, I'm not much into parties, besides, it's not like we had anything planned anyways. Not unless you count dinner with my parents later..." Derpy flew up to him, "But-" she started, "But what?" She only looked at him, "Nothing..." she said trailing off. He raised an eyebrow wondering what she was planning but paid no attention to it.

The day progressed slowly, as there was nothing to do and the very idea of studying was absolutely out of the question, the two sat in the living room as Don flipped through various channels, and found nothing to watch. He always wondered why cable had over five hundred channels and yet nobody could find anything to watch, there had to be some sort of irony in that. He got up and clicked off the TV, it had been oddly silent and he wondered where Derpy and gone off too. "Derpy?" he called out, but there was no answer. He headed for his room and when he got to the doorway and heard some rustling. "Derpy? What are you doing?" he asked coming into the room.

When he entered, he could've sworn he heard some frantic movement but only found Derpy sitting seemingly innocently in the center of his bed. He raised an eyebrow "What's going on in here?" Derpy only stared at him, "Nothing, nothing at all." Don doubted her not only because of what he heard but she had a shifty look about her, namely because of the way she darted her eyes from left to right.

He shook his head and left the room all the while keeping an eye on Derpy, whatever she was planning he didn't exactly like the vibe it was giving off. He sat down in a chair and began to re-examine that situation; Derpy sitting in the middle of his bed trying to play innocent, if he didn't know any better he swore that was a failed attempt at seductio- No. No, that was not what it was. Images came into his head of Derpy lying on his bed giving him a "come hither" look, "GAH," He screamed and caused the chair to fall over with him still in it.

_"NO BRAIN, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS! NO. NO!" _

A few more hours passed and Don looked at the clock; it read six-thirty. "Well, I guess it's time to head out, c'mon Derpy, we're leaving!" Derpy bounded from his room. "Where are we going?" Don adjusted the back of his shoes and looked up, "We're gonna meet my parents for dinner remember? I guess it's their way of celebrating my birthday." Derpy hovered as she thought about this for a moment, "Are any of your friends going to be there?" Don shook his head, "No, they're not, well, actually you're going to be there... although I'm the only one going to be aware of your presence." Derpy shook her head, "Why don't you call them to join you?"

He thought for moment, he quickly ran through of people he knew and how they were either living elsewhere in the country, or too far to get together, so basically he was friendless, save for Lewis but then again, Lewis was more of an... "acquaintance". In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that most people he met were acquaintances rather than friends.

His thinking was interrupted by Derpy, "You do have friends other than Lewis don't you?" He stood silent for moment trying to figure out how to explain his current friends list. "Well, I mean, I do have friends out there, but they've all moved to different places, or are too busy to catch up." He said plainly. "I don't believe you." Don was shocked, "What?"

"I said I don't believe you." Derpy reiterated. This got Don a bit angry, of all the things he's said and things he's told her, this is the one thing she didn't believe him in? "Okay, fine, you don't believe me? Let's go take a look then." He said somewhat calmly, although the conviction and venom in his voice said otherwise. He went over the his computer and turned it on. It hummed to life and the screen flashed on.

Derpy was amazed at this machine, it was full of colors and images. It reminded her of some of the arcades that the other fillies used to play on back at home, but more compact. Eventually Don was maneuvering the arrow on screen and clicked on an icon. A new window popped up and he started typing to bring up a new display.

He brought up a page he rarely used, his old social media profile. After logging in he saw a flurry of status updates and pictures from all the people he knew and used to talk to on a regular basis. "What's this, Don?" Derpy asked. "It's a social media website. It's basically a place where friends can keep up with each other even though we live in different places." He explained. "That's great! You should tell them about your birthday! Or what you're doing, or how about-" she stopped as she saw Don's face, it was emotionless and he scrolled through the various posts. "Don? What's wrong?" She heard him sigh, "They know," he said, "look." he clicked on the screen and brought up all the notifications. All the birthday wishes came into view, and they all said the same thing, just a simple "Happy Birthday" and that was it.

"Isn't that good enough?" Derpy asked, "No, it's not." Don replied, "I know it sounds selfish, but the only reason they know it's my birthday because this website tells them it's my birthday. Other than that, they wouldn't know." He turned around in his swivel chair, "A site like this is seems like a good thing, but sometimes there are a few things that just become automatic and not heartfelt anymore you know?" He said.

"How many people are your friends on here?" Derpy asked. "One hundred." Don said plainly. "One hundred?! That's a lot! And you're telling me that not one of them will show up?" Don shook his head. "No, and trust me, I've met each and every one of these people back when I was in high school and grade school." He clicked the "home" button to the website. "Everyone has gone off to other colleges, some out of state, out of the country and some in other parts of the state, either that or they have jobs of their own and live their own lives and have families of their own." Derpy looked at all the pictures before her, some were of other people at what appeared to be distant places, out with friends, or dressed at formal events and having fun.

"Have you ever tried to keep talking to them?" she asked. "Of course I tried, but sometimes they wouldn't respond or the conversation would die out quickly and they'd say they have to go." Derpy listened to his explanation and stared at the screen before noticing his profile picture. She looked at it closely, it was obviously out of date, the picture there was of Don, but he looked younger and she hated to admit this to herself, but he looked happier than he did now. Her examination was interrupted when the screen disappeared before her. "But that's enough of that. Let's go, it's already seven fifteen." He said while getting up.

She took flight and headed for the door before taking one last look at the dark screen of the computer.

_"I'm sorry, Don...I had no idea..." _

The car ride was uneventful as Derpy pondered what she had just learned about Don. Could one person really have all those friends yet not have a single soul to talk to at the same time? The thought of this just boggled her mind, it just seemed impossible. Her thoughts were interrupted, "You're awfully quiet for a pony who was excited to be going out on my birthday, what are you thinking about?" Don asked giving her a glance out of the corner of his eye. "Nothing, I just..." she trailed off. "You were thinking about me and my friends again weren't you?" Derpy only sighed and nodded. "Look, I know it seems like I live as some sort of hermit from the rest of my friends, but it's fine, really. Maybe they're all too busy to get into contact with me, you know?"

He pulled into the restaurant parking lot. "Look, let's just go in there, have some dinner with my parents and it'll be a nice quiet evening." The two exited his car and began walking to the entrance, once inside he scanned the dining area to see if his parents were there.

"Doesn't look like they've arrived yet," he said while taking out his phone; its clock read seven-thirty five. "So what do we do now?" Derpy asked hovering just above his shoulder. "We wait, I guess."

Time went by and it seemed like they waiting for a near eternity. Don looked at his phone again, it read eight fifteen. He sighed and put his phone away. There was a familiar sinking feeling of disappointment creeping up on him, his parents wouldn't miss dinner with him again would they?

His inner thoughts were interrupted by a phone call, which he promptly answered, "Hello?" 

"Hey Donny, It's mom, listen, I'm sorry but I can't make it, the hospital is swamped right now and I can't get away. I'm sorry Donny." He felt his world plummet a little bit, "Oh... yeah, okay, that's alright." he said. "I'll make it up to you later, I promise alright? Anyways, I gotta go, duty calls. I'm really sorry, By Donny."

He put his phone back in his pocket. "Who was it Don?" Derpy asked sitting in an empty space on the bench. "That was my mom, she called to tell me she can't make it." He said. "What?! But you had made plans!" she said standing up. "I know, but it happens alright? She has a busy job, so it's understandable."

Their mini-debate was interrupted by his phone ringing again, another sinking feeling of disappointment filled Don's core. "Hello?"

"Hey Don, it's Dad, I just wanted to tell you I'm still hung up over here at the office, and I probably won't make it. So go on and have dinner without me." Don felt his spirits plummet even further, "Oh, okay, I...I understand. Bye." He hung up and looked at the floor. "Don?" Derpy called looking up at him, "What happened?" He only shook his head. "They're not coming." Derpy gasped a bit, "What? But they-" she was cut off, "I know what they said, alright? Let's go, I'm not hungry anymore."

There was a tense silence in Don's car. Neither he or Derpy had spoken for about ten minutes as Don drove aimlessly around town. She looked on at the hundreds of lights in the city and how it reminded her of the bigger cities back in Equestria, but right now that wasn't important. "Don?"

"Ten years...they've done that for ten years. " Derpy only looked confused, "Done what?" He only looked forward, "They've missed my birthday for ten years. You think I would be used to the disappointment by now." Derpy looked up, "They said they were sorry." Don sighed, "I know, and I understand their jobs are demanding, but... they always say they'll make it up to me, which is great but..."

"But what?" Derpy asked. "But...I just want to spend some time with them on my birthday you know? Just some regular family time." He laughed a bit, "Now I sound like an after-school special or something." Derpy flew up to the dashboard. "It's not bad to want something like that. In fact, I think it's kinda cu-" she stopped and shied away a bit. "What was that?" he asked, "Uh, nothing." she replied.

"Well, at least it's not a total loss, you're here." He spotted some search lights waving back and forth in the distance and smirked. "Well, my birthday is ruined to an extent, but why spoil the evening for you, and I know exactly where to take you."

Derpy eyes lit up as she saw the Ferris wheel and brightly lit stands. "A carnival!?" Don chuckled as he saw her excitement. "Yeah, it's not uncommon for carnival's to be around here this time of year." She began pushing against his shoulder. "Well, what are we waiting for, let's go!"

Derpy was enthralled at the things she was seeing. All the lights, the music, the smells, the different booths and what items they had to offer for prizes and things to sell. They walked around the carnival grounds a bit before their browsing got interrupted. "Hey, you!" Don kept walking on thinking that the voice was calling out to somebody else. "You, with the stupid looking earpiece!"

"I told you..." Derpy said in a loud whisper. "Not. Now." he retorted. "What?" he asked turning. "Hey buddy, how'd you like to play, all you gotta do is throw the ball at the blocks and knock 'em all off the platform and you could win a prize from up there." The Carnival attendant said while pointing to the string of stuffed animals around the booth. "I dunno..." Don replied, a bit of skepticism in his voice.

"Do it!" Derpy shouted.

"C'mon man, it's real simple. I'll even show you." The Carnie said while jumping over the booth counter. "Watch this." He readied himself and wound up and threw the ball and it hit the three blocks knocking them all off the platform. "See? Simple." He jumped back over the counter and set up the blocks again. "Well, how about it? Three throws for five dollars?" He said holding out a baseball.

"Well..."

"Do it!" Derpy shouted again.

"Alright fine." Don said while handing over one of his twenties. "Alright! We got a player! Best of luck to you buddy!" The carnie said handing over the baseball along with Don's change. "Now remember, you gotta knock the blocks off the platform and you win."

He took a step back and looked at the three stacks of blocks. They were arranged in a pillar-like formation but more weaving left and right than just straight and turned slightly to where they didn't line up either. There was something about this formation he didn't like, but he was already committed to playing the game.

He took a step back and sighed, "Alright, you can do this..." he said to himself. He wound-up his arm and let the ball fly with all of his might behind it. The ball tore through the air only to miss its mark and slam harmlessly on the netting behind the blocks. "Oh, tough miss. You still got two more tries so keep going." The carnie called. Don wound up and threw again, the ball was closer to its mark but it was a miss as well. "Last shot, make it count."

"C'mon Don, I know you can do it!" Derpy called as she hovered near him. Don threw the ball again but there was even more force behind it since he warmed up a bit from the first two throws. The balled screamed towards the blocks and there was a satisfying sound of contact as the ball hit the small tower dead center. The top blocks fell and toppled off the table and the bottom was pushed with the excess force towards the table's edge. There was a full five seconds as the block sat there motionless and seemingly teetering before finally deciding to give into gravity and fall as well.

"Sorry guy, no dice." said the carnie picking up the blocks. "Wait, what? I knocked off all the blocks." Don said. "Oh I know, but you have to knock off the blocks _at the same time_. None of that last second stuff you know."

"That's not fair!" Derpy yelled.

"No man, c'mon, I played you little game, I won, look you don't even have to give me a big prize or anything just give me one of those little stuffed flowers over there." The carnie shook his head, "Sorry guy, better luck next time alright?" Seeing that this argument was going nowhere and fast Don nodded his head, "Okay, fine. You win this round." With that he turned and left. Don made one last glance at the carnie, he didn't normally dislike people on the spot, after what had just happened, he made an enemy for life. He knew that carnival games had the odds pitted against the player but this was just uncalled for.

"I know you had that Don! That was completely unfair! He should at least have given you SOMETHING." Derpy said landing on his shoulder. "I know," Don replied, "but in all honesty, carnivals aren't exactly fair." Derpy tilted her head, "What do you mean?" He walked over to where there was a basketball shooting game. "Alright, take a look at that hoop, looks round doesn't it?" He said asked while pointing. "Yeah, sure it does. Looks alright to me." Derpy said. "Well, it's not." He said. "If you fly above that and look down, you'll notice that the hoop is oval-shaped and only the most perfect shot can really make it in."

"No way..." she said in shock. "Yeah, go look for yourself." he replied. Derpy flew over and up and hovered above the basket. Lo and behold Don was right. The hoop was oval not round. "I can't believe that. Why would they do that?" She asked when she returned. "To make money." He said . "You think they take a chance on something that was fair? No, so they tip the scales in their favor." Derpy sat on his shoulder clearly upset about this. "Kind of reminds me of the Flim-Flam brothers..." she said crossing her fore-hooves.

"Who?" Don asked. "Oh, they're these two unicorn brothers who tried to swindle Ponyville one time, and then they tried to cheat Applejack out of her farm." she said. "Wow, that's, uh, pretty huge." Don said. "Luckily, they didn't succeed and were run outta town." He nodded completely confused, "Oh well, that's good, but I can't exactly run a carnival out of town or anything so I'm just stuck."

The two stood around idly before Don spoke up again, "Well, there is a way we could kinda get back at the carnival..." He said trailing off. Derpy's ears perked up, "What do you mean?" she asked. "Well, being that nobody can see you, save for myself of course, we could... kind of... I mean, we could have an...advantage on these games." Don said slyly. "Don Lacson, are you insinuating that we undermine the rules of the carnival games to where we win all the time just to have petty revenge on what just happened?" Derpy asked. "Maybe..." Don said while stroking his chin.

"Where do we start?!"

"So what's this game?" Derpy asked looking at some small dishes that were floating on lily pads. "Simple, we throw these ping-pong balls into the dishes. The different colors mean different prizes. The ones we're going to shoot for are the ones on that pedestal in the middle." Don said while pointing. "Why those?" she asked. "Because those are the bigger prizes of course. Now, what I'm going to do is make it look like I'm throwing them, but really you'll just carry them over and drop them in okay?" Derpy gave a small salute. "Gotcha."

At first it was no big deal, Don would "throw" the balls that just happened to arc perfectly into the jars. Passerby's and watchers thought he was just a crack-shot or something, but as time went on and as he won more and more stuffed animals, there was a crowd forming around him. People would comment on how he could land the shot so perfectly, how he was extremely lucky or how insane that was.

Don decided to humor the crowd and placed a ping-pong ball on his palm while Derpy landed and grabbed it with her hooves. He made a quick inhale and blew on the ball making it "sail" into one of the dishes. "Okay, seriously, something's up. You need to stop man." The attending carnie said. "Really? C'mon man, I'm just getting warmed up." Don said. "No man, I'm cutting you off, this is ridiculous." The crowd gave boos and jeers of disapproval. "Okay okay, I'll go, but to be honest, your pal over there," Don said while gesturing towards the carnie at the softball game, "said that this was the easiest one to win at, in fact he said it was a pushover."

"He didn't..." The carnie said. "Yeah man, told straight up to head on over here to win stuff." Don said. "That son of a..." he said silently. Don gathered up all the giant stuffed animals he'd won and began to hand them out to random kids in the park. It's not that he didn't appreciate the fact that Derpy helped him "win" those, but they were just too big and cumbersome. He made a mental note to make it up to her with some giant muffins or something.

The next game they hit was a racing game where they had to roll balls into some holes to determine the race character's travel distance on the board. Don had Derpy sit in front of the hole that would send the character the farthest and rolled the balls to her where she would just shove them in. Winning at this game was more subtle considering there wasn't much of a watch factor on this one, but the same rule applied to their winning, give the prize away.

They made their way through the carnival and came to one of the food vendors. "What'll it be?" they asked through the small window. "Candy apple." Don said. "Five dollars." Don handed them the bills and got the candy apple. "I figured you needed something to snack on after all that work you just did." Don said. He unwrapped the candy apple and set it down on a table. Derpy began digging in and made a small hole in it.

He watched the different people going through the carnival not even paying attention to Derpy while she ate. He didn't even notice the hole she bore into it was just big enough for her to crawl inside and begin to hollow out the apple. He returned his gaze to where the apple sat on the plastic. "Derpy?" he called looking around. He shrugged and picked up the apple and bit into it only to be surprised by getting nothing but outer candy and skin and finding a pocket of air inside. "What the-" he said and looked inside the bite he just created and saw Derpy sitting inside the hollow apple. "Uh...surprise?" she said.

"How do you even manage these things?"

After their short break, they went over to where the game "Lucky Ducks" was. Normally this was just a game of pure chance considering that you chose a rubber duck to pull from the water and the number written on its bottom was the value that determined the prize. But since Don had the advantage, he had Derpy dive into the water and then ride the duck that was of the highest value. He didn't expect her to have so much fun doing this game considering she was going under water, but he figured her favorite part was just riding around on the ducks as they floated around their circular path.

Eventually they stopped their small evening of semi-swindling for a moment before they realized that one: Don was running out of cash, and two, there were so many stuffed animals given out that nearly every kid in the park had one. There was a bit of method to the madness though, rather than ante up to bigger and bigger prizes, he would mainly stick to the small ones to get more bang for his buck when playing. So whenever he scored a big prize, he would take the equivalent in small prizes and every time he made sure he pointed out that he was told by the baseball carnie, to go play that particular game because "it was easy and prizes were a pushover to get."

As the two were leaving Don looked over to where the baseball game was and noticed that the carnie was getting chewed out by someone else. He wasn't sure by who, but apparently it was rather heated. The carnie's gaze met Don's and all Don could do was give a small smirk before turning to leave.

"You must be exhausted" Don said while on the drive home, "you did a lot of the work you know." He said while looking at Derpy. "You would think so," Derpy said, "but when you've been delivering letter's for as long as I have, and flying around long distances, tonight wasn't so bad." Don nodded. "Well, thanks for helping out. I know it wasn't exactly honest, but hey, at least we made a whole bunch of kids nights tonight."

When the two returned home Derpy flew off immediately to Don's room, while he stayed and sat on one of the couches to think for a minute and to rest since he did spend a lot of time walking. Although his birthday was ruined, it was different from the others. Sure, he didn't get to spend it with his parents, but then again, he did get to spend it with a three inch tall Pegasus.

Eventually he got up and went into his room and noticed something; it was silent. "Derpy?" he called out, but there wasn't an answer. He looked around the room wondering where she could be before he spotted a lone muffin sitting on his desk with a candle in it. He raised an eyebrow and sat down. "SURPRISE!" Derpy shouted while popping out of the muffin. Don shook his head and smiled. It was an amusing site to say the least. The candle and the portion of muffin it was sitting on was stuck on her head and she was waving her hooves in the air.

"You've been planning this all day haven't you?" Don asked. "Since I found out!" Derpy said proudly. He chuckled a bit, "Well, thanks but, how did you get into the muffin?" Derpy shifted uneasily. "I uh, may have... hollowed it out by eating the insides..." she trailed off. He only let out a sigh and buried his face in his palm.

_"Why me?" _


End file.
